Anonymous Letters

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  • #595892
    TheGoq
    Participant

    If someone were to wrong you in some way, to treat you innapropriatly or be condescending towards you or make hurtful remarks, is it ok to send them an anonymous letter telling them in general terms how what they did made you feel? Would you ever take an anonymous rebuke to heart?

    #752242

    I’m sorry you were hurt.

    I don’t think it’s a god idea, since they can’t appologize or excuse themselves

    #752243
    aries2756
    Participant

    How does an anonymous letter help? If someone wronged you, let them know what they did wrong and give them an opportunity to ask mechilah. If the letter is anonymous you do not give them the opportunity to make it right.

    #752244
    TheGoq
    Participant

    ty but i didnt say that i was hurt just posing a question

    #752245
    mytake
    Member

    The Goq

    If the letter was on target, I’d take it to heart whether it was anonymous or not.

    #752246
    s2021
    Member

    I dont know about the other person, but its helpfull for urself, even if not sent

    #752247
    yogibooboo
    Member

    so i wrote a letter to my old neighbors(rememebr the loud and obnoxious ones?) and on Purim she saw me brought over a shalach manos to me with a nice big apology! i guess my letter hit home!

    #752248

    my old neighbors(rememebr the loud and obnoxious ones?).. brought over.. a nice big apology!

    Despite my critique, I’m happy it worked out, yogibooboo

    #752249
    yogibooboo
    Member

    thakns tbt

    #752250
    oomis
    Participant

    Letters can be very cathartic; it depends on what you want to accomplish. If the idea is to make someone aware of a wrong they have committed, they probably know it’s you, anyway. The letter gives them the opportunity to right the wrong, if they respond appropriately.

    Sometimes a letter is intended not to elicit an apology but just to vent. In that case, I would leave my name off probably. Other times, it is crucial for the person to know who is sending the letter, and hopefully they will be mekabeil the mussar.

    And SOMETIMES it is good to write everything that comes to mind, vent like crazy, and then tear up that letter and send a calmer one.

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