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How many mishloach monos do you send altogether? Do you prepare all of them yourself, or do you recycle?
We probably send 80 altogether. We make 40 ourselves and recycle approx. 40.
Very few this year. I have three kids in high school.
The Wolf
around 65. 50 we make(of course with a theme) 10 are bought through Keren Aniyim and 5 are recycled to those not originally on our list to whom we have to reciprocate.
5, this year
in days gone by we did about 60, in addition to special ones for the Rebbeim & Morahs. last year, my husband ordered thru the shul to send shalach manos to all members,(I don’t know if he plans on that for this year), plus I made @ least 20, but had leftovers. now, with all my children outta the house,I plan on making about a dozen, with 4 separate special ones for each of our grandchildren. 🙂
35 bought from Keren Aniyim. I don’t have the koach to think of a theme at my age and I don’t really care to be filling bags with candy. So I prefer to give the tzedaka. But way back when my kids were small I baked everything from cream puffs to checkerboard cake. Everything in my shelachmanos was home made and my neighbors were waiting for it!
Over 100. We start to recycle somewhere along the way.
Too many!!!
Wolf – whats the connection?
High school tuition is expensive.
The Wolf
If chazal wanted us to give so many mishloach manos then they why would they not decree that we give so many. Be yotze the mitzvah and then some, not too much.
If you still feel a need to spend loads more money use it for extra matanos l’evyonim. We all know that in all our communitites there are people who struggle to feed their kids, and if you cant find them use your money to support the poor and hungry in eretz yisroel rather than to keep your friends kids dentist in business.
Why do we need a staid Brit to point out a simple truth?
brsker that is entirely m point. for your real friends it is a chance to show some hakoros hatov to them. If they are not your real friends then why bother, and if they are not your cloest friends and get offended that you didnt send them, then why would you want to be friends with someone like that?
About 15. We try to make sure we get some to some of the non-dati people we know on the yishuv as well.
50-60
I already prepared my baked stuff.
Prepared for about 15. Anyone extra will not get!
Idea is to go into Brooklyn/MOnsey on Purim day so you give early and you disapear!
I am making about 12 IY”H, with the theme that I am dressing up my little children.
Every year I tell my wife to cut down on the Mishloach Manos and give the money to matanos l’evyonim instead. She’s nervous someone will be insulted that we don’t have mishloach manos for them.
30-40 Simple and inexpensive. I hope the recipients enjoy the fact they were thought of.
If they are not your real friends then why bother, and if they are not your cloest friends and get offended that you didnt send them, then why would you want to be friends with someone like that?
We are also Brits, and feel it is more important to give fewer Mishloach Manos and give “hakoras hatov envelopes” to the Rabbeim of our kids, than spend a fortune on food stuffs which will be thrown away on the approach to pesach.
Also Matonois La’evyoinim is a bigger mitzva than Mishloach Manos, so more money to the poor, and less foods for those who have plenty makes sense!
I would call it priorities!
We give 20.
it is possible to give more matonos leevyonim while still giving as many mishloach monos as you wish. there are some people and certainly kids who enjoy giving mishloach monos, why do you feel the need to take away their enjoyment and make them feel guilty. the Torah gave the mitzvos for both, let everyone enjoy. I would venture to guess that those who are generous with their mishloach monos are probably generous throughout including their matonos leevyonim.
Spending a lot of money on Shaloch Manos and giving a lot of people are not necessarily the same thing. We sent many people, but each shaloch manos costs less than $3 (I send something homemade — usually cake or kugel and one other “min”). My kids love giving out the packages, and we enjoy the opportunity to show people we were thinking of them. I always prepare a few extra in case someone shows up who we forgot to put on our list.
commonsense — you have a lot of common sense!
I don’t understand the posts saying “better give more matanos leevyonim” or “give more to the teachers” as if the only thing anyone is spending money on is shaloch manos!!! Why can you only give extra matanos leevyonim if you give less shaloch manos? Are those the only 2 items on your budget, so one is at the expense of the other? These are two mitzvos, and everyone should try to give as much matanos leevyonim as they can, and to fulfill the mitzva of mishloach manos in the best way they can.
m th point is very basic economics. if you have e.g $10 and you spend $5 on shloach manos and then you can only spend $5 on matnos levyonim. If you only spend $2 on shloach manos then you can spend $8 on matnos evyonim. It is called opportunity cost.
The point is spend a smalller amount on doing enough to fufil shloach manos and then you will have more matnos evyonim, and in almost all cases those recieving the matnos evyonim will need and appreciate the $ spent on them more than thos who recieve the ‘extra’ shloach manos.
The $10 can be $1000 or $1 mil, th point is the same. Shloach manos can be fufilled for a few $, then more can be given to those who need it.
m in Israel: “Are those the only 2 items on your budget, so one is at the expense of the other? These are two mitzvos, and everyone should try to give as much matanos leevyonim as they can, and to fulfill the mitzva of mishloach manos in the best way they can.”
You have a point. The basis for what I wrote is based on the fact that generaly Matanois L’evyoinim is done on the quiet – the only guy who knows what you gave is the shliach, whereas Mishloach Manos everyone sees what you are delivering, making it more tempting to do be more generous in Mishloach Manos.
The Oznayim Latorah says a similar idea regarding donations to moisdos. People generally donate more willingly towards buildings, where a plaque with their name is displayed, as opposed to day-to-day running costs, where no-one will know about the donation!
the only guy who knows what you gave is the shliach, ?? U meant ???? ??
No. Matonos laevyoinim is more often than not given to a sh’liach neeman who knows people who legitimately needs funds
Stamford Hilly Billy — Yes, that is very BASIC economics. The point of my post was that this economic argument only applies if there are only 2 items on your budget (when I took economics years ago the classic chart was guns vs. butter, if I recall correctly). The theoretical concept does not apply here as you can take money for Matanos Leevyonim from any part of your budget, not only from the $10 you designated for Shaloch Manos! Anytime you make a decision to spend money on anything, there is an opportunity cots — you could have spent it on Tzedakah instead — why is it only the Mitzva of Shaloch Manos that gets a bad rap? (I don’t hear people say — I’ll spend less on my Yontiff Seudah, and give up the meat this year so I can give more Maos Chitim before Pesach.)
Again, if you read my original post, I’m not advocating expensive Shaloch Manos (we actually spend very little). I am just addressing the reasoning that subtly accuses those who give more Shaloch Manos of giving less Matanos Leevyonim, or having misplaced priorities.
yaff80 – It is true that people are more tempted to do things that bring Kavod. But giving less Shaloch Manos will not make your Matanos Leevyonim any more public! I am in full agreement that everyone should give Matanos Leevyonim to the best of their ability, and I think your idea of “hakaras hatov” envelopes to teachers is very appropriate. We also send something financial to the Rabbeim together with the Shaloch Manos — but I don’t calculate that as coming from either my Shaloch Manos or Matanos Leevyonim.
in the past, I have done a little something different in addition to sending Shalach Manos & giving Matanos Leevyonim: one year I brought a roll of gold dollar coins to shul & distributed one to each of the children in shul (& sometimes to the children I’d see in costume on my way walking to shul); I’d compliment their costumes & it’d bring a surprised smile to their faces. (don’t worry! of course, I also gave the few in shul who weren’t dressed up for Purim, too!).
I always remember how much my own children loved seeing how much money they accumulated for their mitzvah of being the shaliach for delivering Shalach Manos. (neighbors gave upward from nothing, to a quarter, to a dollar… with Aunts, Uncles, & Grandparents giving $5, $10, or $20). my children loved seeing how much money they made as much as seeing all the great nosh they got 🙂 ..
As happens more often, my husband gives me a stack of dollar bills, that I’d give out to the children in shul on Purim ($1 each), as well as my being able to show Hakoras Hatov (w/ money) to the gentleman who leyned the Megillah.
From an Emailed newsletter
PIP – Purim is Pashut
We are happy to publicize the following program instituted by Rabbi Ron Yitzchok Eisenman of Congregation Ahavas Israel, Passaic, NJ:
Rabbi Eisenman writes, “One of the particular areas of concern for me on Purim is the problem of the proliferation of mishloach manos. The issue is disconcerting for many reasons.
1. The Rambam (Hilchos Megillah 2:17) writes that when given the choice, one should opt for giving more matanos l’evyonim and have a smaller seudah and give less mishloach manos. Therefore, from a purely halachik view, the emphasis of the day should be on helping those who need our help and not on sending out mounds and mounds of unwanted nosh to people who do not need our food. Indeed, the Rambam says the greatest fulfillment of simcha is when we make those of us who are less fortunate- happy. Therefore, by cutting back on our mishloach manos we can hopefully give more money to matanos l’evyonim.
2. The fact that each year people have longer and longer lists of families and individuals who they must send to (as well as reciprocity) is creating an almost impossible financial burden on many families.
3. Most of us cannot, do not, and certainly should not be consuming all of this unneeded, unwanted junk food which fill our homes on Purim. The amount which pours into the nooks and crannies of all Jewish homes – one month before Pesach – is totally superfluous and often (at best) winds up in the garbage bin, or (at worse) in the ever growing midsection of an already overweight individual.
Therefore, because of these issues and others, I have instituted in my kehilla the following program, PIP – Purim is Pashut (Purim is simple).
1. Send out the minimal amount of mishloach manos to two or three people, those who really could use it. Find someone who is not on everyone’s list, perhaps an older person or a single person as opposed to those established families who ‘everyone’ sends to.
2. A sign stating “I do PIP” is hung on the door indicating to all that this house observes PIP and one should not expect a mishloach manos in return. There is no problem of not knowing what the sign means for by someone asking, “What is PIP?” the program becomes publicized and you have the opportunity to explain why you are not returning the mishloach manos you have just received.
3. Whoever joins PIP does not expect (or even want) everyone to give them mishloach manos.
4. Those families who want to express their artistic talents through mishloach manos can be given an exception from the normal limit.
5. Children who would like to give to their moros and rebbeim are certainly encouraged to do so. However, even children are encouraged to scale down the number they want to distribute.
The day of Purim is a day of simcha and one can modify PIP to suit their particular needs. In the constant battle of attempting to alleviate some financial stress from all of us, and in the ongoing struggle to keep our lifestyles within manageable boundaries, PIP has proven to be very successful in my kehilla. You will not lose out and the rewards both spiritually and gastronomically are well worth the effort.”
Here is what the Rambam has to say about priorities
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Yeshivas Ner Aryeh is selling beautiful Purim Cards for people who’d like to give tzedaka to the yeshiva instead of candy & junk to there friend..
cards are 5$ each
10 for $30
50 for $120
You can email neraryeh at gmail.com to purchase
thanx and a gut’n chodesh
I cook up from what is at hand, in my case, a lemon tree, so the main thing is a lemon dish, and a complementing item. I limit the quantity to five, and long ago decided that this mitzvah can be done without the use of a CAR, my purim is a much more calm, and meaningful day compared to the early years when we were harried by the out of control shalach monos culture.
i think a lot of you are not counting in how shalach monos can be a family activiy. In my family it involves all of us. we try to keep it as cheap as possible but try to come up with something that we would enjoy getting. We spend many hours together working on the shalach monos and everyone feels like they were an important part of it. The kids enjoy distributing the shalach monos, not for the money (although they don’t mind that) but because they anticipate the reactions they will receive. They take pride in giving something they know the recipient will enjoy. I believe the memories my children are building of Purim are worth whatever we spend. btw, I too believe that matonos leevyonim is supposed to be at least as important as mishloach monos and we actually have our children give from their own money, but we do not discuss how much we give for that or for that matter, how much we give the rest of the year. Everyone knows their own matzav and gives accordingly.
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