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Have you ever overheard a conversation with these kinds of intangible immeasurable adjectives used to describe people in Shidduchim?
quiet,
dumb,
selfish,
materialistic,
boring,
loud,
no common sense,
fashion addict,
not serious to get married,
no personality,
no sense of humor,
too choosy,
thinks they’re it,
nebby,
weird, etc.
Im sure there are many I’ve forgotten.
People feel they’re saving their friend from a wasted date, but these opinionated tidbits of information cause some to stay single. These tidbits of information spread and spread, despite people saying, dont tell anyone…. ha ha
Will it ever end?
I have never heard anyone use any of those words to describe anyone, except where the subject was unknown to the listener, and even then I have not heard most of those terms.
The opposite! People have become so afraid of loshon hora that they don’t give out meaningful information.
What’s wrong with someone quiet?
Shrek: True. I’ve a close relative who married a girl who REALLY wasn’t for him, and ppl KNEW what he was looking for. They ALL gave info that turned out to be totally untrue! She was JUST the opposite. In any case, we must ask a rav before giving info (especially if you know s/he has issues).
when I say “meaningful”, I mean accurately descriptive. I find that people don’t want to be pinned down on anything for fear of impeding a shidduch. If a girl/boy is quiet, and the other side is looking for someone lively, why is it wrong to share this information? I don’t see why this would be loshon hora, as long as it is said for constructive purposes. In this case, to spare both sides a wasted date.
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