Respected Rabbanim Eating Out

I was eating in a restaurant, and my R”Y happened to pass by and noticed me there. Later that day when I was back in Yeshiva he told me a Ben Torah shouldn’t be eating in a public restaurant.

And that was me eating out, not the R”Y.

What is wrong with eating out in a kosher restaurant?

I don’t worry myself with what rabbonim do.

I saw a respected Talmud Chochum in a restaurant with his wife, more than once. It was a quiet type of restaurant, only 1 or two other couples in that section.

I saw a RY eating out and he comes from a family of the same type.

What do you mean by “eating out”. I have learnt that by modern orthodox, “eating out” has a very different meaning than what chareidim mean when they say eating out.

I heard this from someone who was a new Rebbi in a MO school. He was surprised to see that the students were shocked to hear that this rebbi would “eat out” in a restaurant with his wife. His surprised was removed when it was explained that eating out meant eating fish in non-kosher restaurants.

Apparently it was not uncommon, but they saw that their Rebbi was not MO, and surprised that he would “eat out”.

He quickly corrected their misunderstanding about where he would eat.

However, I think you have to define what you mean by “Eating out” for the many non chareidi posters.

My neighbor is a big Posek and his wife told me they once had a really stressful day so they went out to eat cuz otherwise he’s always busy with phones, etc. and the whole time they were there pple kept coming to talk to him… Nebach, the poor woman!!

I have a friend that her husband is a Maggid Shuir. She told me that they eat out – but in restaurants out fo the area so that he wouldnt bump into his students

But is that because he’s hiding in shame (because “eating out” is wrong), or is it because he just wants a nice, quiet night out without being disturbed?

The Wolf

Not sure why this is even an issue…

1) Kashrus standards in a restaurant are not the same as in his home (the same would apply to eating at a simcha).

2) To some, eating in a restaurant (other than if one is not home and simply needs food) seems like an overindulgence.

3) To some, it seems slightly unrefined to eat in public, and a rabbi or rosh hayeshiva for practical reasons (for his students to properly accept his words, there should be a certain “awe”) has to maintain his utmost dignity.

Could you see a difference between eating in an upscale establishment and a local pizza shop or burger place?

I’m not agreeing or disagreeing, just hypothesizing.

I know of other Rabbis that do this as well…simply because they would like a private meal with their spouse/kids…nothing to do with it being wrong in any way…Mind you, they only so this on rare occasion, usually they have no problem going out to eat in their neighbourhood for all to see…

A bit off topic

My son in law at one point drove for a “Heimishe” car service & he had a standing order to drive a Chahsuv Rav & his Rebbetzin to an out of the way park where they had a bit of private time

I met a friend who inherited his father’s beth midrash walking with his wife while carrying a briefcase. Five minutes later I saw them coming back. My guess they were out for a stroll & the brief case was just camouflage

“There are halochos about a Rebbe eating in front of his students:”

“And yet, I’ve eaten at my rebbe’s house numerous times*. My sons have been at their rabbeim’s houses and eaten there too.”

“after all the Gemara says that ???? ???? ???? ????”

I think there is a level of respect one should have for their rabbiem ect ect…but this is a bit ridiculous. – what, r they as not as human as we are that they cant be seen eating in public? Are we all “behemos” for going to a resterant/cafe/ or even a pizza shop?

yes, i understand it looks improper, but judging our talmidie chachamim or rabbiem/ RY for going to a (private) resteraunt is absurd, im sorry. i dont see anything halacha’kly wrong.

I’ve never seen my RY eat out, but he’s told me that it’s important for a couple to go out to eat every once in a while.

In that case, he may feel that it’s wrong *for him*.

Would you agree that in that case it wouldn’t be “hiding in shame”?

Would you agree that in that case it wouldn’t be “hiding in shame”?

Granted, the “in shame” part may not apply, but it is still hiding because it’s “improper” in his particular circumstance.

The Wolf

I was relating what was accepted as the norm in a large NY MO school.

And even assuming that that’s true, MO covers a *wide* range of observance. Yes, there are some who might do that, but I don’t think that you’ll find that that’s the mainstream MO definition of “eating out.” Not by a long shot.

I have quite a few MO friends and when we go to “eat out” it’s always in a kosher restaurant.

The Wolf

Wolf,

“MO covers a *wide* range of observance”

Or a lack thereof.

However, it was not my point that *all* MO do so, rather that there is a significant portion of those self identifying as MO that do refer to eating in a non kosher restaurant as “eating out”.

Contrary to some posters who feel that their experience is the only experience.

I was asking the OP to clarify the question because of the alternative meaning assigned to the term used. And which has a very significant bearing on the question and responses thereto.

Assuming the alternate meaning for “eating out is true, does it make sense that one is asking if it is ok or proper for respected rabbanim to do so?

A number of years ago (back when the restaurant still existed), I ate with my family at the Grand Deli on the lower East Side, and R’ Reuven Feinstein was sitting at the next table.

Eating out in public, as in weddings; yeshiva dinners; bar mitzvas; brissim; pidyon haben; kiddushim; vorts; parlor meetings? Eating publically at certain events makes the concept of eating out ok, the rest is PC.

RedNails19:

absurd, im sorry. i dont see anything halacha’kly wrong.

We do have a Shulchan Oruch that transcribed G-ds rules for us.