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Frequently people will hear divorcees express deep regret over having married their ex-spouse. This is often true even if they have children with their ex. This is something I find difficult to understand. Do they regret having their children? How else can they regret their former marriage?
I am sure that they are not talking about their children. They are talking about an extremely painful and difficult time in their lives. Probably a period of years and years.
i dont think this is appropriate.. people who have gone thru divorces have their own feelings of regret for diff reasons.. one cannot talk for others..
Canine- you’re 71. You’re past understanding these things already.
It’s simple. I don’t regret my kids, but I suffered for many years. If I would have known, how much suffering I’d have to endure- I’d not have gone there in the first place. Separate the spouse from the kids and it’s easier to grasp our feelings.
canine – Yes you can. Do you have kids? I highly doubt it.
BTW, Separate, not seperate.
If you learn Chumash, you will see that Yehudah would never had had a relationship with Tamar -had he known who she was, but yet his yichus came through her. That being Malchus Bais Dovid & Moshiach!
Canine(myfriend), drey nit ken kup.
While there you also ate food (maybe, mostly canned food, since other food was unavailable).
Do you regret going to Miami (under these conditions)? Absolutely, yes!
Do you regret the food you ate whilst there? Absolutely, no!
The children can be likened to food.
On the other hand, a Midrash was quoted here recently about Yaakov not divorcing Leah, even though he good reason to, since hashem blessed him with children through her
no one should regret their marriage..even if it ended up in a divorce b/c everything that happens.. happens for a reason.. obviously Hashem wanted you to go thru that so you could grow/learn something that you would never have done any other way! i know someone personally that went thru a HORRIBLE marriage that ended up into a divorce and to this day they still dont regret it b/c obviously they had to go thru that nisayon and came out a diff person..
cocacola – Even though you’re technically correct, but noone enjoys punishment. Equivalent to what you are saying is going to a cancer ward and telling the patients -Ya’know everything happens for a reason, so you shouldn’t have any misgivings that you got this illness and you shouldn’t regret getting it. I’d like to see the reaction. There is nothing wrong with regreting a bad marriage, but if you haven’t been there you have no clue. Did you ever learn the Torah concept of Nosay B’ol C’havero? Do you have any idea what that means? Are you the type of person that goes into a Shiva house were someone lost a kid and tell them -No biggy- it was Bashert?
Health: There is a difference between someone in the midst if going through a nisoyon, to someone who has already past it. With the former, we must sympathize with and not ch”v belittle the hardship they are in the midst of experiencing. The latter however, can only benefit from looking at their past experience in a positive light, and thereby motivate themselves to go on further in life and accomplish.
LMA -You’re right. But in divorce with kids, do you think it’s ever “Over”?!?!
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