oldest, middle, or youngest child?

First is the worst, second is the best, third gets the polka dot dress.

Yes, parenthood changes everything. But parenthood also changes with each baby. Here are some of the ways having a second and third child differs from having your first:

Your Clothes

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.

2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

Preparing for the Birth

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

2nd baby: You don’t bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn’t do a thing.

3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.

The Layette

1st baby: You pre-wash your newborn’s clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby’s little bureau.

2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.

3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can’t they?

Worries

1st baby: At the first sign of distress–a whimper, a frown–you pick up the baby.

2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.

3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.

Pacifier

1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.

2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby’s bottle.

3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

Sleeping

1st baby: Sleeps in your bedroom for the first six – eight weeks

2nd baby: Sleeps in your bedroom for the first two weeks

3rd baby: Goes right from the hospital nursery into their own room

Baby Book

1st baby: You religiously make entries every day, carefully noting the number of spit-ups and bowel movements for the first year

2nd baby: You enter a few facts each week but stop after 6 months

3rd baby: You buy the book but enter the child’s name, birth weight, and length on the first page

Diapering

1st baby: You change your baby’s diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.

2nd baby: You change their diaper every 2 to 3 hours, if needed.

3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

Activities

1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.

2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.

3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.

Going Out

1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home 5 times.

2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.

3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

At Home

1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.

2nd baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child isn’t squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.

3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

Swallowing a coin

1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.

2nd child: When 2nd child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for coin to pass.

3rd child: When 3rd child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!!

I’m towards the end but not quite in the middle- (I have a large family). As a teenager I was also the oldest one home. I enjoyed being the oldest.

One part I didnt like- was Yomtov when my married siblings came home, us single ones were the ones who served, cleared, and cleaned and had to watch my nieces and nephews.(My siblings all felt like they were on vacation when they came home.) Now, I cant say I blame them!

I’m second oldest and I think it’s the best because you get (some of) the privileges of the oldest but you don’t get the same “because you’re the oldest” excuse. I think, judging by my friends that were the youngest of a large family, that when you are the only one left at home and all your siblings are out of the house you tend to get spoiled in a good way.

one\__//goal

I am the youngest and I had all the responsibility and none of the credit till the last few years of my mom’s life.

each family had different dynamics, and so therefore, there really isn’t one answer about which is best. in every case, the response will be different.

upper middle

Thanks Frummy McCrum – made me laugh

Wolfish musings – you are so right

I was the baby girl to a bunch of older brothers. They were all so sure that i would be spoiled, that they made sure to ‘unspoil’ me every step of the way. I feel lucky that i survived without any major surgery required 🙂 but as an adult it is wonderful to have all those boys care about you

I was the youngest and in my geneartion that did not come along with being spoiled at all!! It also made it very hard when I lost my last parent! It’s two years now and I still can’t get over it, not having any parents at all!! No one can care about you the way a parent does… it’s a very lonely feeling!

i’m the youngest and i gotta say its pretty good! lol

youngest. the only child still living at home.. its the life =)

youngest of a large family ‘Bli Ayin Hara’

I am the eldest of four. I think we all turned out pretty great, B”H. None of us is an axe murderer, as far as I can tell. Yet.

i think for every family its different. im the youngest and i do alot more then my friend who is the oldest girl(1 bro on top of her). it depends on how much the parents make u help it has nothing to do with place in family

a mamin – it is very lonely and there is no replacement for a parent. this feeling will never go away completely.

just try to remember that the reason u miss them is because they were so loving and how lucky you are to have had such loved feelings.

Channel your emotions to try and be what they were-love and guide your children or others.

Channel the longing for your parents to be longing and aching to return to yerushalayim and the shechina.

Maybe this can help you.

many people have had challenging relationships with parents, so you have to remember how lucky you are to have had this.

i think that each placement in the family has its pros and cons.. and obviously Hashem gave us the position in the family b/c thats what is best for us..

i think the oldest does have alot of responsibility.. but they are able to boss around the younger siblings to do alot of things for them..

i think the youngest has it the hardest b/c everyone thinks they are the most spoiled.. therefore the older siblings make sure that the parents give them less then normal just to make sure that they arent spoiled.

and the middle basically has it very good. they arent weighed down with tonz of responsibility like the oldest and they arent bossed arnd like the youngest..

so basicaly the middle is the best placement according to me.. and hterefore they should help their older and younger siblings!!

Are only children spoiled, spoiled?

Canine – some only children are spoiled. I’ve known of some. But I can honestly say – without sounding like I’m bragging that I really don’t think I was spoiled. I was certainly loved a lot – but not spoiled. In fact I remember my mother telling me that at teachers conferences, some teachers were actually surprised when they found out that I’m an only child. I guess that shows good parenting.

I don’t think my husband is spoiled either. For two only children to get along well in a marriage shows that we do know how to share and compromise. Baruch Hashem.

btw – we have 3 wonderful teenagers. no signs of older, middle, youngest syndromes. i think they’re pretty well adjusted and certaily loved very much.

“Youngest. My older sibling has waaaay more baby pictures than I do.”

lol. I was the youngest for a long time. I was looking for baby pictures once for some kind of project and I couldn’t find any (or at least not very many -I don’t remember if there were any or just a few). When I questioned my mother about that, she had a whole explanation about how the old pictures had accidentally gotten thrown out by the cleaning lady as we were moving.

Fast forward many years later: My mother is cleaning out my grandparents’ a”h house after they were nifter and finds the old box(es) of pictures which it turned out hadn’t been thrown out after all.

She brings them home to show me and she’s like, “see, I really do have baby pictures of you.”

So I go through the pictures and this is what I find: a picture of Shmuely, a picture of Shmuely and Shonie, and finally, a picture of Shmuely, Shonie and Lilmod, another three pictures of Shmuely, a picture of Shonie, a picture of Shmuely and Shonie, and finally, another picture of Shmuely, Shonie, and Lilmod.

I was like, “Yeah right ma, I see how many pictures you have of me!” 🙂

please note: all names besides Lilmod are fictional.

Lol! ?

Youngest…………

It was as if my older siblings and AI had different parents/lives. They lived in a high rise NY apartment for up to the first 15 years of their lives. Dad had a job.

I was born in CT, we had a house, dad owned a business, mom was a school principal.

But unlike the others who said they had to care for younger siblings, I got stuck with nieces and nephews and taking care of parents in their old age.

In fact when I was a child and my father would take me to trade shows to buy for the stores he would introduce me as his kaddish…talk about growing up with Jewish guilt!

Our children range from 42 to 19 and I have made sure that the younger ones never felt obligated to care for nieces and nephews and could enjoy their teen years.

Unlike some, I or my children never wore hand me down clothing, as my father was in the business. Toys, books, sporting equipment did get passed down, big deal.