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Are they the smart ones?
I’ve got a relative (who I know well), who has a large family, but never held a steady job or stayed in any business too long. He’s almost always needing handouts from relatives, starting with both parents, now others. His kids have gone from school to school, whichever school is willing to take them. Most of the kids have been behavior problems in school, partly because of switching schools, partly because of the parental laissez-faire attitude about life. They have tremendous difficulty paying bills. Hashkafah issues are pretty much non-issues, as everyone does pretty much what they please. In general the kids are happy with one another and with the parents and vice versa. The married kids seem to be doing well, B”H. All are very happy go lucky, not as much as the parents though. Older kids have stable jobs. No Kollel candidates, or secularly educated kids among them, at this point in time, but they all are good-hearted and friendly. Parents are very quick to do a favor, and are both very popular in their non-materialistic circles, strangely in an uppity urban neighborhood (because of handouts, etc). Not that I know everything, but the kids seem to be very content living in that home, even though there are the difficulties I describe. Everything is a joke, they laugh everything off.
His wife is ok with whatever the husband does or doesnt do. She thinks he’s the smartest guy on earth. The husband and wife are madly in love. Most couples would have ended up in divorce with one of those spouses, but together they’re perfect.
In general, are they better off than the families who worry themselves sick to do the right thing as far as discipline, as far as jobs, as far as Hashkafah, etc.?
Again, are they the smart ones, by being uniquely chilled, and we’re (and most families I know) the dumb ones, living in a pressure cooker, relatively speaking?
Sometimes I think they ought to give a class on Shalom Bayis (with all the divorce talk going on all around) and being chilled! Perhaps I’d sign up!
What a B’racha. Parnassah is from HaShem. To have a calm, happy household where the husband and wife are madly in love with each other and the kids are happy and joking around? That is amazing. What should they do? Scream at each other that there is no money to pay the bills? do you know what a skill they are passing on to their children? Everything if from HaShem. AWESOME. If a person is doing his hishtadlus in every situation, what more can you ask for? Would the family feel better if chas veshalom he will have a break down? I am sorry to hear about the kids behavior problems. IY”H that would work out too. As far as family members are helping them, Do you think that they are the only ones that get help from their family? These are difficult times and lots of people are suffering. IY’H they should have a yeshua very soon, but until then, they sound like an amazing couple.
wow, they are sooo lucky, dont know how those people do it. we try soo hard for our kids and then it all comes back to us like a slap in the face. sometimes i wonder if its worth all the effort, do our kids really appreciate everything we do, sacrifice for and literaly suffer and get gehenome
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