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- This topic has 12 replies, 13 voices, and was last updated 13 years, 9 months ago by yobwej.
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January 18, 2011 6:18 pm at 6:18 pm #594290BadHairDayParticipant
i know someone who’s going to be going out with someone again after a 2 yr break. just wondering if anyone who’s had this experience and has any tips of how to break off the awkardness. also what’s the proper thing to do- do you bring up what happened the first time around or do you just skirt around it and pretend it never happened?
January 18, 2011 6:20 pm at 6:20 pm #729422popa_bar_abbaParticipanti know someone
Hmmm.
January 18, 2011 6:25 pm at 6:25 pm #729423intersaantehMemberNo tips. I know two people who did that one after a three year break the other after a few months break. both are happily married 10 years and seven years so far….
January 18, 2011 6:26 pm at 6:26 pm #729424oomisParticipantI say address the elephant in the room and talk about it directly.
Two years is a long enough time in which a person may have grown in many ways, especially if they were very young the first time around (like age 20). People mature and change, so maybe the things that were an issue the first time, might no longer be a problem, especially if someone suggests a re-date.
January 18, 2011 6:40 pm at 6:40 pm #729425dunnoMemberI know a couple who dated on and off for 5 years – they are now happily married with 3 kids.
I don’t think you ignore what happened in the past but it’s probably not the first thing you should talk about.
January 18, 2011 6:56 pm at 6:56 pm #729426SacrilegeMember“Nice to see you again!” (?)
January 18, 2011 7:01 pm at 7:01 pm #729427mewhoParticipanthopefully they have matured and can get past whatever the problem was the first go round
January 18, 2011 7:06 pm at 7:06 pm #729428aries2756ParticipantMake sure you check Dor Yeshorim before you start up again because there is no turning back now. You are both agreeing to go out again because you both realize that there was something there worth revisiting so don’t feel awkward at all and don’t try to ignore the past.
January 18, 2011 7:09 pm at 7:09 pm #729429bptParticipantI’d talk about what you’ve been doing in the past 2 years. Not “who have you been dating”.
Travel experiences, schooling, carrear advancement, ect. That will show growth and maturity. Each of you remember the “old” selves; focus on your “new” selves
January 18, 2011 7:35 pm at 7:35 pm #729430WolfishMusingsParticipanti know someone who’s going to be going out with someone again after a 2 yr break. just wondering if anyone who’s had this experience and has any tips of how to break off the awkardness.
If you are not one of the two parties and they are otherwise competent adults, why are you working to “break off the awkwardness?” Why is it your business? Let them be.
The Wolf
January 18, 2011 7:43 pm at 7:43 pm #729431frumeyidParticipant“I think you look familiar.”
January 18, 2011 8:12 pm at 8:12 pm #729432ItsJustMyOpinionMemberBeen there, done that. I dated 6 times, broke up, dated again a year later. We’ve been happily married for almost 20 years. The question is
a) how long did you date?
b) why did you break up?
Obviously if you’re willing to go out again, it was for something not too important. Definitely don’t pretend like you never met. If you’re looking to have an open and honest relationship, why would you want to have that uncomfortableness? It can only be an ice-breaker and it might be the beginning of the rest of your life. If you want to break off the awkardness, make it more of a light conversation, maybe even joke about it.(tastefully)
Good luck
January 18, 2011 9:22 pm at 9:22 pm #729433yobwejParticipantI did it. my wife and I went out for 2 dates–it didn’t go anywhere. about a year or so later, I inquired again and after a little bit of nudging here and there, we both committed to try it again. 1 month later–engaged.
Happily married many years later!
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