"Re-Dating"

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Viewing 13 posts - 1 through 13 (of 13 total)
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  • #594290
    BadHairDay
    Participant

    i know someone who’s going to be going out with someone again after a 2 yr break. just wondering if anyone who’s had this experience and has any tips of how to break off the awkardness. also what’s the proper thing to do- do you bring up what happened the first time around or do you just skirt around it and pretend it never happened?

    #729422
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    i know someone

    Hmmm.

    #729423
    intersaanteh
    Member

    No tips. I know two people who did that one after a three year break the other after a few months break. both are happily married 10 years and seven years so far….

    #729424
    oomis
    Participant

    I say address the elephant in the room and talk about it directly.

    Two years is a long enough time in which a person may have grown in many ways, especially if they were very young the first time around (like age 20). People mature and change, so maybe the things that were an issue the first time, might no longer be a problem, especially if someone suggests a re-date.

    #729425
    dunno
    Member

    I know a couple who dated on and off for 5 years – they are now happily married with 3 kids.

    I don’t think you ignore what happened in the past but it’s probably not the first thing you should talk about.

    #729426
    Sacrilege
    Member

    “Nice to see you again!” (?)

    #729427
    mewho
    Participant

    hopefully they have matured and can get past whatever the problem was the first go round

    #729428
    aries2756
    Participant

    Make sure you check Dor Yeshorim before you start up again because there is no turning back now. You are both agreeing to go out again because you both realize that there was something there worth revisiting so don’t feel awkward at all and don’t try to ignore the past.

    #729429
    bpt
    Participant

    I’d talk about what you’ve been doing in the past 2 years. Not “who have you been dating”.

    Travel experiences, schooling, carrear advancement, ect. That will show growth and maturity. Each of you remember the “old” selves; focus on your “new” selves

    #729430
    WolfishMusings
    Participant

    i know someone who’s going to be going out with someone again after a 2 yr break. just wondering if anyone who’s had this experience and has any tips of how to break off the awkardness.

    If you are not one of the two parties and they are otherwise competent adults, why are you working to “break off the awkwardness?” Why is it your business? Let them be.

    The Wolf

    #729431
    frumeyid
    Participant

    “I think you look familiar.”

    #729432

    Been there, done that. I dated 6 times, broke up, dated again a year later. We’ve been happily married for almost 20 years. The question is

    a) how long did you date?

    b) why did you break up?

    Obviously if you’re willing to go out again, it was for something not too important. Definitely don’t pretend like you never met. If you’re looking to have an open and honest relationship, why would you want to have that uncomfortableness? It can only be an ice-breaker and it might be the beginning of the rest of your life. If you want to break off the awkardness, make it more of a light conversation, maybe even joke about it.(tastefully)

    Good luck

    #729433
    yobwej
    Participant

    I did it. my wife and I went out for 2 dates–it didn’t go anywhere. about a year or so later, I inquired again and after a little bit of nudging here and there, we both committed to try it again. 1 month later–engaged.

    Happily married many years later!

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