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A.My mother/father/sibling
B.My rebbe/teacher/principal
C.My close friend/neighbor
See how important our input is to others?
We are all SOMEONE important to SOMEONE.
i would say A. (sibling that youre close to) because those are the people who mean it really only for your own good. the rest might also but youre never sure.
A
B. If you’ve seen complete selflessness on their part, you know its only your good they’re seeking
How about spouse? Does that belong to this list?
Well personally, I don’t know your mother, father, siblings, rebbe, teacher, principal, close friends or your neighbors. So its really hard to say which of their opinions I value most.
I’d probably chose your rebbe or father just because their older and more knowledgeable and probably easier for me to get along with. Although I could be wrong since I don’t know them.
D. – my spouse, husband
definitely A.
oh! & E.- my daughter (29, kollel wife, mother, teacher)
A
F. myself, my family has never been there for me so i rely on myself
everyone has an agenda.
b- someone i respect but who im not particularly close with. like apushatayid says.. its hard for someone else to separate theyr own personal opinion from what would b best for u.. especially when ur lives r very intertwined.
D: Spouse, implicitly, since I know she has my best wishes in mind. Others may have their own biases.
C Followed by A
The proper answer to the question depends on various factors. As a result, I’m not sure that a comparison of answers really means anything.
For example, there are things that I know my father knows and are in his area of expertise. However, I also know that there are areas that he knows nothing about. Your father, however, may be somewhat knowledgeable in that area. There are certain question I wouldn’t be comfortable bringing to a friend, even if I know he’s an expert in that area. You may not feel that way. And on and on…
Whom I, personally, turn to for advise largely depends on the nature of the problem. For some problems, I turn to Eeees. For others, I turn to my parents. For yet others, I turn to rabbeim and yet others to friends and neighbors. The matrix of whom I turn to for what type of problem depends on numerous variables, include expertise in a particular area, general wisdom, trust and the degree of discretion involved in the query.
But keep in mind that that particular matrix applies to myself and ONLY myself. Your matrix of problems/advice givers may be very different. You may trust your rebbi more than your brother. Someone else may have the reverse. Neither is right or wrong… it’s all a matter of your perceptions, relationships and the experiences of yourself and the people in your life.
The Wolf
A always came first for me, and I wish my parents were still with me, as their combined wisdom and advice was ALWAYS on the mark, especially as they did not impose it on me.
Now I seek counsel from an eclectic group of people. it depends on the subject at hand.
None, mine!!!
Unless Im looking for a specialist with experience in a certain area, no one knows my needs and tastes as well as I do.
But growing up, of the three, it was A, they’re no longer alive though, so it’s little old me.
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