Shaking Hands

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  • #594075
    faith
    Member

    How do you explain the whole shaking hands thing? especially those who have to regularly interact with people who have never come accross it before and get offended. I don’t mind explaining, but often it’s really difficult when you’re in a rush and someone sticks out their hand.

    #726678
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    I would just explain that shaking hands when meeting has been a social convention for thousands of years in civilized society.

    To be honest, I have never met anyone who wasn’t familiar with it.

    #726679
    Gabboim
    Member

    Explain the simple truth.

    #726680
    real-brisker
    Member

    There was a thread about a month ago regarding this.

    #726681
    ItcheSrulik
    Member

    popa: Some people may not be familiar with how it has been practiced in different societies over the millenia. It would be very confusing for someone who clasps palms as we do today to try to shake hands with a Saxon from pre-conquest England, who shook hands by clasping wrists.

    #726682
    Sender Av
    Member

    My question on this topic is do you only shake hands with people on Shabbos, or during the week. I know some people who shake hands during the week and some who don’t(and when I still out my hand to shake and they leave me hanging, I usually feel like an idiot). How do you know when to shake?

    #726683
    wanderingchana
    Participant

    Are you talking about not shaking hands with members of the opposite gender, or shaking hands with anyone period?

    My pet peeve is the limp fish handshake. Come on, don’t take two fingers as if you think the other person has a communicable disease. A moderately firm yet brief grasp is polite in a business setting (but not with the opposite gender OF COURSE).

    EDITED POST

    #726684
    LittleDummy
    Member

    I think shaking hands is almost a lost art in social settings. Of course, as a woman, I find it more and more rare these days when someone offers to shake my hand in a business setting. I am pleasantly surprised when I am offered a shake in business. In religious settings is probably where I have seen it practiced most. But in all, I believe it is a custom that is falling away.

    #726685
    wanderingchana
    Participant

    I’ve been edited! I’ve arrived! (I don’t think I would have noticed if you hadn’t said so, LOL)

    #726686
    Achdus Fan
    Participant
    #726687
    bein_hasdorim
    Participant

    faith; I’m confused,

    like wanderinC said are you talking about refusing to shake the hand from someone from the opposite gender.

    It would seem that you meant that after you finish with

    “really difficult when ur in a rush & someone sticks out their hand.” Although your opening isn’t very clear.

    Or were you vague on purpose?

    #726688
    Tzvi Hirsh
    Member

    Being a business person sometimes I get into a situation where a woman reaches out to shake my hand, so I hold a tissue in my hand at this possiblity and say excuse me my hand is not so clean and show the tissue. Which is true since no ones hand is 100% clean.

    #726689

    I prefer the fist pump 😉

    #726690
    Mayan_Dvash
    Participant

    Pretend you’re Japanese and bow, no need to make physical contact! Seriously, I never had a problem, I just explained that I can’t and people respected that.

    ;

    #726691
    pet peeve
    Member

    what about with a doctor you never met?

    i always wonder what to do: it gets really complicated in explanation, b/c how come the doctor can touch you, but not shake hands? they dont get it….what do you do?

    #726692

    wouldn’t bowing be worse than shaing hands 🙂

    #726693
    Mayan_Dvash
    Participant

    ..more like the martial arts bow, where you lower your had and body a little while maintaining eye contact. Hands are to the sides (not martial arts-like. M.A. would have your hands in front).

    #726694
    faith
    Member

    Sorry it wasn’t clear, did mean shaking hands with opp. gender. I’m a doctor so it’s even more difficult to explain. (I’m not going to shake your hand, but now if you can take your shirt off so I can examine you!). I never really used to have a problem with it before I started working because it’s not so common anymore, but it seems unfortunately that now everyone wants to shake hands with their doctor. Thanks for the suggestions. I like the emailing/contacting in advance thing.

    #726695
    Tzvi Hirsh
    Member

    Just say I am sorry but my doctor advised against shaking hands in order not to spread our germs. This hold true especially in the winter time or when the Flu season starts which is earlier than the start of winter and lasts longer.

    #726696
    Sender Av
    Member

    I just thought to mention that the “old” rebbetzin of my city, meaning the one who used to live here, would always wear gloves (this was in the 50s-60s) so when men would try and shake her hands, she would not touch them directly. This was before my community became religious. It was actually due to Hashem sending us the this wonderful Rabbi and Rebbetzin that my community was able to grow into what it has become.

    #726697
    frumladygit
    Member

    Sender Av do you mean the late Lubavitcher Rebbetzin?

    #726698
    Sender Av
    Member

    Not who I mean at all. Who I am speaking about is not as well known as the Schneersons(did I spell that right?) Did she also do this? I would name her but if I did I would give away my location.

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