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For years I tought I’m the only man enjoing to cook, however the more I talk to people the more I relize that there are many closet cooks on the mens side of the mchutza, so please come out and share you kitchen exp.
I like to cook. When I have time I bake a mean sourdough bread and make pancakes. (I can do a lot of other stuff too, I just don’t have the time for the most part).
As a matter of fact, I happen to enjoy cooking very much. Last week, I cooked everything for shabbos, including the challos (which I got to make for the first time).
The Wolf
My husband cooks a lot and has gotten quite good at it. He didn’t know how to make anything when we got married.
I make a mean sandwich maker sandwich.
i cook a lot 😀 im a big guy, i like eating, and to keep up my habit, i gotta cook it 😀
My husband makes the cholent every week. He likes to put in every spice I have in the cabinet. I have to say he does a fine job… He also like to make breakfast foods such as eggs and french toast. Thats about as far as his cooking goes….
Well, my hubs aint in the CR so I’ll have to speak for him… he cooks all the time, and he cooks REALLLL GOOOOD!! It’s a blessing, I tell ya… (I should add that to the list of requirements for future sons-in-law… 😉
I love to cook! My wife and I share the Shabat cooking about equally. She got me into Indian cooking and I love it! (Red lentils left overnight on the blech make a great cholent substitute.)
My husband can make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches….and he can warm up pizza….
; )
Good for you Wolf, whats about Hafrushas Chalah? My wife does that, never did that mitzva myself even as I bake the chalah.
Yes, I was mafrish challah as I used all of a five pound bag of flour. It was the first time I was mafrish challah in my challah.
Men have the very same chiyuv regarding hafrashas challah. It’s commonly associated with women since they tend to bake bread more often in the home, but if a man does it, he is just as obligated to separate challah.
The Wolf
Well I am a mom of ka’h a bunc of boys and most of ’em like to putter in the kitchen.
They bake challos, make chicken nuggets for dinner kigel, chulent..
whatever…
then I’m left with all the pots and the kitchen to clean..
I gues I cant have everything!
Men who love to cook is great and it could be a great stress buster. My father was a baker but for some reason left the home baking to my mom who was fabulous. But one thing if you are fussing in the kitchen make sure that you clean up as well, unless you have an agreement with your wife that she doesn’t mind cleaning up after you.
“Men have the very same chiyuv regarding hafrashas challah.”
True! And also for lighting Shabat and Yom Tov candles. I’ve been surprised at the number of otherwise well-learned men who don’t know that. When I’m out of town for work I have to light myself. And on rare occasions I’ve lit Shabat candles for my wife when she has been stuck late in clinic or hospital, treating patients.
True! And also for lighting Shabat and Yom Tov candles.
Yep. When my sons were born, Eeees was still in the hospital at the onset of Shabbos (they were born on Friday and Thursday). So, those weeks, I lit the candles in the house.
(My daughter was born on a Tuesday — so Eeees was home in time for Shabbos that time.)
The Wolf
Yes, but the wife has a “din k’dima” on theese mitzvos
That may be true… but if she’s not there (as she was not when I baked the challos or lit candles) then a man is just as obligated as a woman and MUST perform these mitzvos… just as a woman MUST recite kiddush if there is no man available.*
The Wolf
* That situation existed in my house for four years. From the time my parents separated until I became a bar mitzvah, my mother made kiddush and homitzi on Shabbos.
The Wolf
See Kitzur Shuchan Aruch 35:8 That only when wife is not home and waiting for her will cause the dough to spoil
Well, in my case, the dough would not have spoiled, but if I waited for her to come home, we would not have had challah for Shabbos. There would not have been enough time for it to bake.
The Wolf
BTW, for the record, I have never been a closet cook. The term “closet cook” indicates (to me, anyway) that one is embarrassed or ashamed of his cooking ability or desire. I have been so. I have always been very proud of the fact that I can make food and always love trying out new recipes and dishes.
So, to that extent, I am NOT a “closet cook.” I am a very proud one — one of the very few areas of my life in which I do take pride.
The Wolf
I have been so
That should have read “I have never been so.”
The Wolf
I’m proud, some people however think its crazy.
I don’t particularly care what “some people” think. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a man cooking – period – end of story. Anyone who thinks that it’s “crazy” because a man cooks seriously needs to have their attitudes re-adjusted.
The Wolf
See B’eer Hietiev O”C 263:3 that some had the minhag that the 1st shabbos after giving birth the husband lit the shabbos candles.
1. I never heard of this minhag.
2. Even if I had heard of it, there was no saying that I would accept it.
3. It doesn’t matter now because I can’t go back and undo it.
The Wolf
I love to cook but I’m not in the closet although I am in the dog house. My wife basically doesn’t like it when I cook, although I always clean up after myself. I like to make up recipes in my head that mostly I never end up cooking. I can taste flavors in my mind so I can easily make up any recipe for anything you want.
“There is absolutely nothing wrong with a man cooking – period – end of story”
The best Chefs in the world are men.
I enjoy cooking, and do it a lot. I make cholent every Shabbos. I’ll often make chicken and/or gefilte fish also. During the week, I’ll make dinner pretty often. I’ve made chicken dishes, steaks, fancy pasta dishes (not just mac and cheese), fish and lots of other stuff. I do, however, leave the baking to my wife.
When I’m in the hospital after having a baby, I light Shabbos candles there.
When I’m in the hospital after having a baby, I light Shabbos candles there.
As you should. But unless your husband is staying with you, he needs to light wherever he is as well.
The Wolf
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Keddushin 41a
The men are in good company 🙂
That’s interesting, Wolf. I think the 2 times I had babies close to Shabbos, my MIL was in my house with my husband and kids so she lit here and I lit in the hospital. Not sure if my husband lit as well.
I started out young cooking for myself in a no frills yeshiva dorm, early in marriage, I made the Shabbat chicken, and salad. Seeing my Mrs. spend inordinate amount of time baking challa, I took that over, and for many years now I bake sourdough whole grains bread for shabbat. I then started cooking stuff for me, a new vegetarian, and it kind of took off. Now that the Mrs. is unable, I cook everything for shabbat, with just some help for cakes. Zack K, did we ever cross paths? Our kind is a rare sighting.
deiyezzoger: in the Life Experience Dept: Birth 1.5 day prior to RH, and one 2days prior to YK. Both times they kept her. Where there are no women…cook, and try to fill those small shoes.
my MIL was in my house with my husband and kids
That is a key difference between your situation and mine. When Eees had the boys, I did not have a female in the house to light candles, so I did on my own. Had my mother come over, I too would probably not have lit.
The Wolf
My husband cooks all the time. Cholent and teh liver is his job every week.. He doesn’t usually have time to cook but during bein hazemanim he cooks up a storm.. He either follows a recipe book or does what he thinks.. I am all for it!!
He helps me with braiding the challos too..
I encourage my hubby to BBQ in the summer. Other than that, I have learned it is not the best idea to allow him in the kitchen, except to wash for Hamotzee, because his idea of a tasty meal (I kid you not) is his special brand of cereal and milk with pieces of American cheese mixed in. Or an Omelet with peanut butter and American cheese. Or just a spoonful of peanut butter. Better for me to cook.
My sons, however, enjoy cooking, and my married son often cooks at home, and sometimes when he is at my house, as well. He makes a terrific chopped meat stuffed cannoli with tomato sauce AND duck sauce.
Had my mother come over, I too would probably not have lit.
Ugh… that’s horrible. Trust me, folks, I actually meant to write in intelligible English. 🙂
The Wolf
Wolf, mind if I ask where the name Eees comes from?
Wolf, mind if I ask where the name Eees comes from?
It’s a nickname. We both have (numerous) nicknames for each other.
The Wolf
The halacho of lighting candles in general is that if you’re sleeping in a house, there should be candles lighting in that house. This means that if a man is in his own home alone or with his children but his wife is elsewhere, hospital, out of town, he should light the candles. He should light at least 2 although he can light whatever amount his wife usually lights.
I don’t mind cooking, but really hate cleanup, so whatever I make, I try to do with as few utensils as possible (rice and chicken in the same pan, roast and carrots / potatoes in the same pan, ect)
I also tend to favor oven baked things, as it requires less babysitting.
deiyezooger-really random q- im a little confused: first you say something about your wife, and then later you say “the men take away the kitchen from us” am i missing something?:)
I never knew that I know how to cook until I got a summer job in a camp kitchen. I discovered that I was a natural cook. I even became the head cook. Now I cook all the time and I am very good as it.
my friend’s father owns a deli and is a fabulous cook, yet her mother prefers to do the cooking at home (she actually prefers not having him in the kitchen AT ALL while she’s cooking since he stands over her shoulder and dispences advice-a.k.a.”put more salt”, “turn the flame on higher”, “use black pepper not white”…you get the picture)
Men should not cook regularly in the home — its almost in the geder of lo silbash. Of course if the wife is sick or needs help once in a while its okay but not on a regular basis.
Of course if the man is a profesional cook he can do so for his job but he shouldnt take his wifes work at home by cooking.
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