- This topic has 16 replies, 8 voices, and was last updated 14 years, 1 month ago by .
-
Posts
-
In this week’sparsha we learn of Avraham Avinu’s ????? ?????? . Here are some inspiring stories.A ????? Suggestion at the end of the post.
If Only Everything Was As Easy As Hagba
A traveler wandered into Brisk late one night and while all the homes were dark, one home had a light shining in the window. He made his way to the home and after knocking was and was greeted by the Brisker Rav who lived there. He asked if he can stay for the night and the Brisker Rav who was known for his chesed was delighted with the opportunity to accommodate. He quickly sprung into action to bring food, make a bed, and cater to his guests every need. Realizing that he was dealing with the famed Brisker Rav himself, the guest could not allow the Brisker Rov to lower himself to serve him. He vehemently protested and would not let the Rav engage in any Tircha on his behalf.
The next day in Shul the gabbai noticed the guest and was going to give him an aliyah as was customary for guests. The Brisker Rav went to the Gabbai and told him not to give the guest and aliya to the Torah but rather he should give him Hagba’as HaTorah. The Gabbai obeyed the Brisker Rav without questioning this odd request.
After the guest was called for hagbah and was about to pickup the Sefer Torah the Brisker Rav made his way to the Bima and stopped the guest from picking up the Torah. “Don’t be Matriach yourself” said the Brisker Rav, “it is quite heavy!” “But is not a Tircha” protested the guest. “it is a Zchus.” “And so is serving another Jew and doing the Mitzvah of Hachnasat Orchim”, said the Brisker Rav delivering the punch line.
There are many exerting exercises that we happily do without complaining. We consider them a privilege. When it comes to doing a favor for another Jew even if it takes time and effort, we should view it in the same light. It is a privilege and an honor, so indulge yourself with a smile!
http://www.revach.net/avodah/ahavas-yisroel/If-Only-Everything-Was-As-Easy-As-Hagba/4574
Chazon Ish – Whose Guest Is He?
The Chazon Ish in his Sefer Emunah U’Bitachon tells a story of a Chosid who invited a guest to his home for Seudas Shabbos. His whole family joyously prepared for the meal because they loved hosting guests. However the person making arrangements for the guest didn’t realize that the Chosid had invited him, so he sent him to a different family for the Seudah. When the Chosid finished Davening on Friday night the guest was no where to be found. The Chosid finally got to the bottom of the story and when he returned home without the guest the family was greatly disappointed. The Chosid said to them, “Is our guest your personal property to do business with? I only worried that he should have a place to eat and enjoy Seudas Shabbos. What is the difference if this is done in our house by someone else?”
Selflessness is considering another person’s needs. Selfishness is using other peoples’ needs as a way to satisfy your personal desires, whatever they may be.<em/>
http://revach.net/stories/gadlus/Chazon-Ish-Whose-Guest-Is-He/4635
The Chozeh OF Lublin Takes Matters Into His Own Hands
http://revach.net/stories/story-corner/5/The-Chozeh-OF-Lublin-Takes-Matters-Into-His-Own-Hands/2657
For some time I have been helping ??? ?????? ?????? by washing 3 sets of their linen every week. A kind table linen rental service has been doing whatever they could not farm out to volunteers. The problem with that is that their powerful machines and extreme heat of their sterilizers ruins the zippers.
It does not entail a great expense and that not much time. I do an average of 4 loads. They drop off Tue AM & pickup Wed AM.
Office # 718 686 2750 This is unsolicited and they have no idea that “someone” is doing theim this favor.Do not mention anything about seeing it online just asy “I heard”
The Gerrer Rebbe Beis Yisroel ztzl had a daily minhag of hachnosas orchim. He would send someone down to the beis medrash to see who’s there and then call up people to his room for tea and milk. The Rebbe served the tea and milk himself.
Mod, can you fix the in Shouldnt be here’s post after the second story. It is hard to read italics.
SBH wrote:
Selflessness is considering another person’s needs. Selfishness is using other peoples’ needs as a way to satisfy your personal desires, whatever they may be.<em/>
Just move the / in <em/> to before the em. Thanks!
You can delete this post.
Great stories. I especially liked the “tircha” one.
My wife and I often have guests over. We’ve had people that others didn’t want to host (and we often found out why!)
One time, we hosted someone who was extremely annoying. I sat through the meal, and kept myself under control. But then she said something very insulting towards my wife, and I’d had enough. My wife notice, and immediately pulled me into the kitchen and told me to let it go. I stayed out of the room for a minute to calm down, then went back in. We told the person who asked us to host her not to send her to us again.
I feel a bit bad about it – the girl is a geyores, and there’s a special mitzvah regarding them. For insults towards me, I can take it, but I don’t let anyone insult my wife.
Do you think I’m throwing away a big mitzvah of hachnasas orchim?
All these stories are quite beautiful and I just want to point out that the mitzvah of hachnosos orchim is a mitzva for ALL. In other words, if YOU want to be mekayem the mitzvah inviting guests on your wife’s koach is not being mekayem the mitzvah. Inviting guests and then helping to serve and clean up as the Tzadikim in these stories IS being mekayem the mitzvah. So to all the men reading these stories understand that to be mekayem the mitzvah YOU need to take part in the mitzvah as well as extending the invitation.
On another note, not all guests have the best midos nor the best etiquette. Some because they just don’t have it, and some because they are just plain nervous being in as new place, strange environment or are uncomfortable among strangers. Sometimes they feel on the defensive because of innocent questions that they might not feel or understand are just innocent and are small talk, they might feel something asked was an invasion of privacy or someone in the past asked the same question and was actually prying. We don’t know why people get ticked off or say stupid or hurtful things.
If WE are going to host strangers, WE need to know and understand that it is up to us to run the show smoothly, learn how to change subjects and move on quickly, ignore things that might seem to us as insults if it came from “other” people, and just keep things on a lighter note. Don’t get involved in their lives and don’t ask questions that you really don’t want or need answers to. Keep conversations pareve. If you are having guest not on your economic level, DON”T necessarily take out your finest or your best. Set a beautiful table but don’t go to the point where they might feel you are showing off and they might feel awkward. Make them feel honored and welcome but don’t go overboard. Make them feel comfortable and at ease. If something spills or breaks, it should not be a big deal or be of a huge consequence. If things go smoothly you will be happy to invite them again, and they will be more comfortable the second time around.
Thanks for the isnpiration I joined
Do you think I’m throwing away a big mitzvah of hachnasas orchim? “
No. No one has to be insulted in their own home, especially when they are being kind enough to invite someone whom no one else wants. There is no excuse for biting the literal hand that feeds you, so if someone is a guest and chooses to be boorish and insulting to the host or hostess, there is no chiyuv to invite him back.
I have never made a guest feel unwelcome – far from it – my children’s friends have always looked to our home as a home away from home, and we like to make ALL our guests feel that way. But if they embarrass our children (as one foolish male guest did regarding one of my daughters, to whom he made an extremely personal comment about her figure) or make inappropriate remarks that are meant to bait us in a confrontational manner,
they are not asked back. What makes it most difficult is that often our Rov asks us to host these people, and I do not want to tell him why we don’t want to re-invite them.
^^^^bump UP^^^^^
When I started this thread I should have completed the sentence.
Even if you do not have the room, means, temperament, social skills, the ???? ???? does not have time and Kochos etc.
What I have suggested does not entail a significant expense of funds or money. You can squeeze in a load between posts to the CR or tasks in your home based business.
Of course non BP & environs residents will have to find (or found) their own local versions.
This is a sticky wicket. If you do not have the temperament or space to put someone up, then it might be better to not do so, rather than embarrass them or make them feel unwelcome.
We had a situation where a presumed Meshulach (a total stranger) came by our house and knocked on the door late at night wanting to sleep over. My husband asked him to wait a moment outside, gave him a drink and came to me in our room to tell me that he wanted to allow him to sleep over (hubby’s middle name is Avraham, and I think he takes that seriously).
We had three teenage daughters at home at the time, and I told my husband that due to my discomfort with this, we were not taking in a complete stranger late at night, especially when the whole situation seemed a little sketchy to me. BUT, on the chance that he was really just a simple meshulach who didn’t realize how late it was and missed his ride back to Williamsburg, I told my husband I was totally on board with paying for him for a night in a motel, and we would drive him there. He did not hear our exchange at all (both of my not wanting him to stay or of the offer to pay for a night’s lodging) and when my husband went out to tell him our decision (a process which took less than two minutes), he had disappeared.
oomis1105-
Yikes!
I hope he didn’t take anything with him.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.