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The first one was in the Tribute section. It was in memory of Avi Pincus, a young man who struggled with, and ultimately lost, his battle against drug addiction. He was clean for a while, and during this time, he made every effort to reach out to those around him and help whoever he could. In the end, he could not outrun the effects of drugs, but his attempt work it out shows that even in the face of what seems hopeless, one must try and help those around you.
Both writers took a very courageous stance in putting this information out in the public eye. Your challenges and the way you overcame them are an inspiration to all.
It was also very bold of Hamodia to publish these stories. For too long, our community had made believe that we are all A-OK, and for the most part we are. But for those of us who suffer, knowing that they are not alone is a huge chizuk. IMHO, on-line communities like ours helped break down those barriers, but it was still a gutsy move on the editors part to bring the stories to print.
BP Totty:
Im not so sure we are so A-OK at all. The numbers of people who are depressed, kids at risk, drug users, physical and sexual abusers, ganovim and what not keeps growing in our communities. Theres something very wrong in the “Yiddish velt” today and its very sad indeed.
From reading the Yated and Hamodia one would think all is well in our camp but sadly it is not so.
I dont have any real answers but I will say that awareness is very important. All the things we used to think “cant happen” by us bnei Torah have pretty much happened already in the last 20+ years.
We really dont know whats doing by our friends and neighbors but many people are suffering.
about the first article,afterwards it’s always easier to come out with, but if a family member is still strugling, even if he has now good days, you do not know and can not know what tommorow will bring!!!
I have a similar story to the second one.
When I was single I was asked to tutor (for free) a boy who was written off as helpless. Since it required zero preparation- or so I thought- and my personal expenses at the time were $10 a week I agreed.
The neighbor making the request explained that the boy comes from an abusive home- he gave me the details but it’s not worth repeating- and has no trust in adults. Even though he has no potential I would still be doing him a favor by getting him away from his house for an hour a day and by being there as an adult who he could trust. He did have great Rabbeim but they didn’t have the ability to give him the personalized attention he needed.
His mother gave me a long list of learning disabilities he has which prohibit him from retaining anything he learns. His Rebbe explained that even though he doesn’t know a thing of what they learn the school doesn’t leave him back since it won’t help (and at least this way he gets to socialize with kids his age).
I was told not to request him to do anything or correct him when he is wrong since he will take them as personal attacks.
On the first day he asked if he could read the translation of the Gemora from the English. Little by little, as the trust built up, I was able to correct him when he had the wrong translation or p’shat. One day, after reading a whole omud perfectly he closed his Gemora. “What are you doing?” I asked. To my astonishment, he said the whole omud by heart, word for word.
His mother later told me that for the first time in years his Rebbe actually filled out his report card, and his grades were in the 90s!
Next his mother asked me if I know anyone in yeshiva who could help her son in math since he wanted to learn how to tell time (on an analog clock). I told her I’d be happy to help him. After teaching him fractions he taught himself everything else and caught up to his class.
As it turns out, he was actually a very intelligent boy who never had a chance given his surroundings. I continued to tutor him just to get him out of his house.
This went on for three years, form 6th grade to the end of 8th grade. In 8th grade he applied to a respected yeshiva and was accepted but unfortunately his father didn’t let him go. His mother and siblings moved out of the neighborhood shortly afterwards and I saw them once and only for a few seconds since. (They came back to visit and were stopped by a red light as I crossed. His mother rolled down the window to say “hi” and thanks for everything. He was in the passenger seat and looked confident, much better than the scared boy he used to be.)
Nice story!
Dr. Pepper:
Moving story. You did a big Mitzvah helping this kid!
Sorry I left out the most amazing part…
Aside from his grades and family, this kid was overweight and I can only imagine how he played sports- yet when he described his classmates he seemed to be pretty popular for someone who didn’t have too much going for him.
I have a hunch that the parents of the other boys in the class asked their sons to include this kid in their games and social plans.
Had this kid not have had any friends in school I don’t think he would have had a chance.
Reminds me of a student i had who was a selective mute. It was really a nebach. I won’t go into details on how he was in class-but it was pretty bad. In short, he didn’t write a thing(e/t he was able to), didn’t do his homework…Anyway the Rebbi and the main teacher were so amazing. They showered him with encouragement, attention, humor….and the students caught on too, they would also encourage him -“c’mon you can do it!”…by the end of the year he wrote beautifully, did his hmwk, did school projects, by recess his desk was crowded by classmates, and he was the kid e/o wrote down to be in his class for next year. His popularity shot up. No he doesn’t talk (and believe me we tried) but this kid won’t be a nobody all because of his caring mentors.
Dr. Pepper, thanks for that wonderful testament to the power of showing someone you believe in him. This is a great story to ehar just before Tish B’Av. Ahavas Chinam – that’s what we need more of.
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