[VIDEO IN EXTENDED ARTICLE]

After the final day of shivah on Friday, 15 Teves, for the Torah luminary and sage HaGaon HaRav Moshe Shapiro ZT”L, spiritual giant and one of the revered baalei mussar in our generation, a film is released to the public documenting his final public shiur. In a remarkable stroke of Divine providence, the lecture, which was delivered when Rabbi Shapiro was already in the throes of his final illness, tackled the difficult question of how one can find comfort and serenity after the passing of a loved one. The speech took place five months ago on 15 Av, 5776 at a Keren Re’em conference attended by dozens of chareidi and dati leumi roshei yeshiva and hundreds of guests.

At the helm of Keren Re’em stands world-renowned Jewish businessman and philanthropist Mr. Elio Moti Sonnenfeld, generous supporter of the Torah world and all streams of Orthodox Judaism and a trusted friend of Harav Shapiro. Keren Re’em sponsors the publication of dozens of Torah manuscripts by eminent Torah sages.

Some eighteen months prior to the said conference, the Sonnenfeld family was stricken with the tragic loss of their beloved daughter Danielle, a”h, who was killed in a car accident while returning home from volunteering at Schneider Children’s Hospital Oncology Department. HaGaon HaRav Shapiro, who also suffered the loss of a child when his fifteen-year-old daughter Shulamit passed away in 5745, capitalized on the occasion of the conference to illuminate the concepts of condolence and comfort.

Rabbi Shapiro cited the words of the Rambam regarding the source of simcha, joy, on Tu B’Av: “And they chose Tu B’Av, for on this [day] the plague ceased from those who perished in the Wilderness throughout the forty years. Many died on every ninth of Av, and in the last year, this ended. They waited until halfway through the month, and then they trusted in their souls and believed in themselves, and they felt the desire of the Creator and the rescinding of His anger and withdrawal of His rage from upon them. Hence, they established [the fifteenth day of Av] thereinafter as a day of festivity and joy.” (Peirush Mishnayos La’Rambam, Taanis 4:8)

Rav Shapiro highlighted the phrase, “Then they trusted in their souls and believed in themselves, and they felt the desire of the Creator and the rescinding of His anger and withdrawal of His rage from upon them.”

He expanded: “The feeling that Klall Yisrael had was that the Creator of the world wants us back. The curse, the terrible punishment that had befallen an entire generation—that awful punishment finally ended. They trusted in their souls and believed in themselves and they felt the Creator’s desire for them and removal of His anger. It was as if they knew, ‘We are once again desirable. Hakadosh Baruch Hu wants us back—‘Ahavta osanu v’ratzisa banu—You want us and You desire us.’

“‘Condolence’ is an arcane concept, very difficult to comprehend. How can one possibly find comfort after suffering such an excruciating blow, such deep, agonizing pain, anguish that fills every corner of the heart? What is ‘consolation?’ What does ‘condolence’ mean? How is it possible to draw comfort after unfathomable tragedy?

“Rashi in Yechezkel writes, ‘If there is no consolation then there is no aveilus’. The laws of mourning only exist since the mourners must be comforted. Mourning only applies, the laws of mourning were only instituted, so [the mourners] can receive the condolences. Where does one find comfort? How does one find comfort? The blow is unbearable; the agony is immense. It doesn’t stop hurting and hurting and hurting…”

Rabbi Shapiro answered, “Rashi [in Bereshis 6:6] states: ‘Every time it says the word tanchumim, condolence,’ it refers to a reassessment. One must think along a different vein, in a new way. Like all expressions of tanchumim [in the Torah. For example,] ‘Vayinachem Hashem al hara’ah…And Hashem regretted the evil that He spoke to do to His nation.’ This is similar to regret. One who regrets must transform one’s former thought pattern and think differently, assess things differently, see things differently…

“If you want to know what’s doing with the young woman who never tasted sin and performed only goodness in the world… What’s her situation there? Where is she?

“The place she is today is somewhere that we should all envy. That’s clear. There’s no doubt that she is in a wonderful place, a place unsurpassed. She is happy and enjoying goodness that can only be enjoyed in the world of truth. (…) If only she could, she would come and tell us where she is in Gan Eden, and then we could find some consolation.”

Rabbi Shapiro concluded his address with the following statement: “HaKadosh Baruch Hu should help that the family—parents, children, and loved ones—should all continue growing and becoming better people. This way, she continues living and accomplishing here in this world. She is creating here in the world, continuing to shower goodness, light, loving-kindness, love and compassion here in this world. She is here with us now. HaKadoshBaruch Hu should grant us all wisdom to understand and see where these words can reach. And this way, perhaps, we can find consolation.”

Note: Hebrew shiur contains English subtitles

(YWN – Israel Desk, Jerusalem/Photo Credit: Eli Kobin)