By Rabbi Yair Hoffman for the Five Towns Jewish Times
Based upon a Drasha of Rav Osher Chaim Lieberman Shlita
In preparing for the last days of the year, we need to develop tactics in which we can effectively defeat the Yetzer Harah.
This past Shabbos, Rav Osher Chaim Lieberman, one of the Poskim of BMG and the Morah D’Asrah of the Zichron Shneur Shul in Lakewood, described precisely how to do that, based upon a maamaer of Rav Aharon (See Mishna Rabbi Aharon, Maamarim v’sichos Mussar Vol. II Elul, #IV).
Rav Lieberman said that it is not always good to try to take on the Yetzer Harah head on. If possible, one should sidestep the Yetzer Harah and tackle him on a front where he has no effective arguments. Citing Rav Aharon, he termed it “tachbulos mi hatzad.”
One such tool is the tool of hakaras hatov.
Rashi in Parshas Ki Savo explains that when bringing the bikkurim and reciting the formula one demonstrates that he is not a “kafui tov” – an ingrate.
Chazal tell us that one who is a kafui tov regarding what he receives from others will end up being kafui tov from Hashem.
The main cause for kafui tov – is the idea of machzik tov l’atzmo – the thought process of kumt zach mir – I deserve this item, it should come to me.”
It come from excessive haughtiness, his love of himself distorts his vision. His self-perception of himself becomes warped.
“She did not cook me supper! I bring home the parnasa – she is obligated to cook me supper and have it waiting for me!”
“What, they are only giving me one of the early brachos under the Chuppah? The least they can give me is bracha acharita!”
“I learn Torah! I bring her to Olam Haba. She should treat me with the kavod that I deserve, and at the very least she should make me suppers – I don’t care if she works.”
Chazal, however, tell us that if you have learned much Torah, do not think that you are deserving of extra things – because that was what you were created for (See Pirkei Avos 2:9). Rav Aharon Kotler explains that since you were created for this, you are obligated in doing it and you are not to praise yourself in something that you were obligated in.
The more you think that you are deserving of everything, and of more and more and more, any good that you receive will not be received properly, because you will never be satisfied. The less hakras hatov one has the more it is entirely removed.
How can hakaras hatov defeat the Yetzer Harah? Let’s assume that one has health issues and cannot overcome the desire to eat cake. If he sits next to someone who suffers from a disease such as MS, chas v’shalom, and one has hakaras hatov toward Hashem for having the use of his limbs, and for being healthy in general, it becomes much easier to avoid consuming the unhealthy cake.
If he is not machzik tov l’atzmo and recognizes that it is all a chessed from Hashem, then the desire and the taavos are weakened and it will be easier to stand up against his desires.
Also, if one does not have Hakaras Hatov to Hashem and one has gaavah (haughtiness), then he has another problem. He loses syatah dishmayah in his Teshuvah. How so? The Gemorah in Sotah (5a) says that in regard to a baal gaavah Hashem says, “He and I (Hashem) cannot reside in the same world.” Now if Hashem does not help us, we cannot succeed.
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