There is so much that I want to say, but being that today is Rosh Chodesh, the halacha is that we are not allowed to be maspid, so I will keep the hespid for the shloshim. My roshei yeshiva were however maskim that I share a few words of hakara.
There are no words to describe how I am feeling now – and I sincerely hope that no one should ever be in the same shoes as I am in now. However, over the past 48 hours we have thanked Hashem countless of times for all the small nissim that he has performed for us, be it with Adira or with our baby.
It is said at the beginning of maseches taanis that there are three keys that HaKadosh Baruch Hu does not place in the hands of a shaliyach: life, death, and rain. Over the past 48 he turned all three keys. Yes, in the end Hakadosh Baruch Hu decided that he wanted my aishes chayil to come back to her creator, but I have no doubt that up in shamayim she transferred her neshama and chaim into our baby.
The question of how or why this could happen does not exist in my mind. In the matzav that the baby was born, it was said that only 5% of babies survive, and out of those only 20% make it past the first 24 hours. It was quite evident that as Adira’s matzav got progressively worse, the baby made drastic improvements. At the one point that Adira responded to some extreme pain in her back, the baby started having extreme seizures. Just as Adira was niftar, the last tube was removed from the baby.
As Rabbi Zev Leff said “All she wanted was to have a baby – that was her tafkid.” And my Rosh Yeshiva, HaRav Shwartzman, said “Hashem does not give anyone a nisayon that they are not capable of handling.” I realize that my task ahead is to grow and learn how to handle this nisayon. As Rabbi Feldman of Ner Yisroel said to my brother-in-law, “Just like there are stars in the sky that fall, those stars shoot back up. Adira was a shining star, and though she fell, she shot back up to her creator.” And though I would I wish that I could have been by her side when she left this world, I was in the middle of mincha. Adira went up to the next world while we were in the middle of saying yaale v’yavo.
Right now, all I have left now is a beautiful little girl and a tremendous amount of chizuk. The reason I named her Rachel Adira Chana this morning is the following: Rachel Imeinu was also moser nefesh for Binyamin, Adira becaus Baruch Hashem the baby is strong, and Chana for chein.
It is amazing how millions of yidden around the globe united together for a cause. There are no words of thanks that can begin to describe the amount of hakaras hatov that we have for all the people who davened, shared their stories with us, and assisted us in multiple ways thought the whole ordeal. Additionally, there are all the people who flew in from America to be with during this difficult time, and the baby is in good hands. Halevay that we should have the koach to unite klal yisroel together not only in times of pain such as this, but also for simchas and for the coming of moshiach.
I would like to personally thank the Yeshiva World Editor, who was the first to arrive from America after hearing the news and to bring a baby gift for Rachel Adira Chana.
Yehuda Boltshauser.
SHIVA INFO:
Shiva Info: (They are getting up on Monday)
Yehuda Boltshauser is sitting shiva at the Boltshauser’s home – (Kiryat Sefer) Ketzot HaChoshen 21 Apt. 16 (+1 in the elevator).
Shacharis every morning at 7:30am
Mincha 4:15 pm
Maariv for the remaining days at 5:15 pm
Please do not come between 10-12am and 3-4pm
054-840-0001
718-989-6540
The Miller Family – family of Adira Boltshauser (Miller) A’H (daughter of Dr. Seth Miller of Ateres Yeshaya)-will be sitting Shiva at their home, 948 Somerset Avenue. Shachris will be taking place at 8:00 a.m., Mincha at 4:25 p.m., and Maariv at 8:00 p.m. 732-370-0065
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25 Responses
Yehuda the amazing bitachon and emunah that you display in this article, the way you are accepting the nisayon that Hashem gave you is a tremendous chizuk to me. May Hashem be menachem you and continue to give you strength to go on accepting with this level of emunah, and may you have only simachot from now on.
Baruch Dayan HaEmes. Yehi Zichra Boruch. She always inspired me to be better; Just as she always did for others while her Neshama was in this world, may she continue to be a Maliz Yosher for all of Klal Yisroel.
BDE
Yehuda Hayakar,
I am weeping as I read this. Your strength is exemplary. May you continue to have the strength for your daughter and your whole family. Hamokom yinachem eschem besoich aveilei tzion vYerusholayim.
Wow. Your so strong. My heart goes out for you and the baby for losing your wife/mother.
I’m crying…
Editor – can you please post an email address so that I can send Yehuda a private message?
Yehuda, I am amazed at your emunah and bitachon. I have never met you. Yet, we were all hanging on to hope every minute. We were being mispallel too. Your wife must have been something very special for Shamayim to want her back so quickly. May Hashem give you and your daughter the strength to go on. You know, I could not help but think that I believe it is exactly a year since Moishele was left alone so tragically in Mumbai. That would be two years in a row of a very troubling Rosh Chodesh Kislev. May we all be zoche to finally see the ultimate light this month. Hamakom Yinachem eschem…
Thank you for sharing.
May you and all be comforted from shamayim.
המקום ינחם אתחם בתוך שאר ירושלים
I too are sitting here with tears streaming down.
We don’t know each other, Yehuda, but your strength of Emunah is something to emulate.
May HKBH give you loads of koach & Syatto Dishmayo to bring up your daughter in the ways of HaShem, to give nachas and bring simchos to you, to your family and to the Neshomoh of your wife o”h.
Reb Yehuda, I don’t generally comment here, but I must say that you should take chizuk out of the fact that you have been mechazek so many people. One cant help but be inspired when hearing your story and the way you kept a true and proper yiddishe hashkofa, staying strong throughout your difficult nisayon. May you only hear of simchos from now on, and may all of Klal Yisroel experience no more tzaros with the the geula bekarov.
May Hashem console you together with all the mourners of Yerushalayim.
May it be soon in our time. Your courage gives strength to all of us.
May Hashem help you, your family and the entire Klal yisrael get through this.
Your readers are all here for you.
So sorry to read this and that he has & is going through this nisayon.
Besoros tovos for all Yidden everywhere.
המקום ינחם אתכם בתוך שאר אבלי ציון וירושלים ולא תוסיפו לדאוה עוד.
תזכה לגדלה לתורה ולחופה ולמעשים טובים.
When a boy is called moishe ben moishe, one knows that his father was niftar sometime between conception and bris.
When a girl is called rachel adira chana bas chaya adira chana, one knows that her mother was niftar at childbirth.
It’s so sad……
may hashem comfort you and your family.
#5 – you can contact Yehuda through his website:
http://www.kuvien.com
Thank you #17 – may we share only simchas
yehuda, i only got to know you recently when i came to israel for my brother’s wedding. i am too shocked and therefore only have this to say hamakom yenachem eschem b’soch shaar aveilay tzion v’yerushalayim
YIRBU KAMOCHA BYISROEL, YOU ARE MKADAISH SHAIM SHAMAYIM.THOUSANDS ARE CRIENG WITH YOU AND FOR YOU . WE WISH WE HAD YOUR GEVURAH. WITH A HUSBAND LIKE YOU SHE MUST HAVE BEEN ONE GREAT WOMEN.
We feel your tremendous tsaar; may H’KBH give you the strength to raise your dughter to be the true bas yisroel her mother was…hamakom yenachem….
I am crying may hashem give you comfort and strgenth to move foward and raise your daughter L’torah L’chupa L’masim tovim amen
Mazel Tov on your daughter! Thank you so much for your inspiring words. May we only hear simchas and continue passing nisyonos with flying colors. Thanks.
My family and I knew Adira at the Abrams Hebrew Academy and Moshe Aaron High School. Adira was a
great person. The memorial today at AHA was attended by many who knew her and was very moving.
May you raise your daughter to be a true daughter of Israel. May you all be comforted in Zion. The Aronoff Family
Yehuda, i met you and Adira just once in r. Zuker sem in Moscow, i was really impressed by her,
and we had a lot of mutual friends, I remember Adira showing us pictures that you took during the Operation Cast Lead, she was so proud with you! Here in Moscow we were so shoked to hear the news, we all crying with you Yehuda may Hashem comfort you and your family
you should know that there a lot of neshamos that were touched by Adira around the world