The joyful Yom Tov of Succos has come to a close and along with it Project Inspire’s Kol Ha Ezrach Succos initiative.  I am very excited to hear everyone’s experiences with inviting less affiliated Jews to their Succah.  As many of you know, Project Inspire, along with Agudath Israel of America, The National Council of Young Israel, The Orthodox Union, Torah U’Mesorah and Partners in Torah all joined to help bring to fruition the Torah concept that every Jew should have a chance to sit in a succah this year.  Over two thousand frum Jews rose to the challenge.  I personally have heard from many frum baal habatim nationwide about their experiences with a co-worker, neighbor, family member, friend, and even one case of a maintenance man.

A few especially moving stories include the following:

“I am an employee at a local hospital. Last week I invited a non-religious co-worker for dinner in my Succah. She replied that she would love to come. I then invited a couple of other co-workers, both not religious and a few of the frum nurses and doctors who I work with. Except for the first person I invited, they all came to my Succah for a barbeque tonight. They all had a wonderful time in a relaxed not threatening atmosphere with my family. We had a great time at the barbeque along with explanations about the Succah which they had never heard before.”

And

“I just really wanted to thank you so much for inspiring me to invite my non-religious friend and her family over for Succos. We have been friends since college (we graduated a few years ago) and since we both are in the same profession and have children the same ages, we have been friends. I didn’t think about inviting them until I received your email and the adorable video!! Although my husband says he did think about it before, but just didn’t get around to it. She, her husband and children came on Chol Hamoed for a bar-b-q supper. We had a really wonderful time and discussed the concept of what the Succah is about, living with Hashem, leaving our comfortable furnished homes, what true simcha is about, the relationship between us and HKB”H ……… We sang songs and my brother-in-law played guitar while all the kids played toy musical instruments. It was a beautiful and inspiring evening and we hope to continue getting together.”

I’d like to hear them all, whether they went as smoothly as these or not.  To that end, if you call or email your story to 888-MY-KIRUV, www.kiruv.com, or [email protected], you will be entered to win two free tickets to Israel. The winner will be announced October 29th and certain restrictions apply.

In addition to these wonderful success stories, I have also heard a few so called “failures” in which the guest did not accept the invitation or did not show up. I stress to you that this is not a failure. Many of us who have grown up with Torah and mitzvos feel the need to be makarev a person in one sitting.  The reality is the Mishmash in Pinkie Avows which clearly states “Lo Alachua Ha’Melacha Ligmor” – it is not upon us to finish the job, all Hashem wants us to do is make an effort, and by inviting someone you have done just that. He will finish the job. Even if they didn’t end up coming to your Succah, you were not 50% successful; rather you were 100% successful.  Furthermore we need to understand that when we invite someone and they don’t come it still made a dent and a positive impression so when someone else invites them they might be more ready and inclined to come the next time.

I’ve experienced this myself on one of my travels to Israel. On the plane, I had gotten up early to daven and when I was returning to my seat I saw an Israeli looking fellow so I asked him if he would want to put on tefilin.  He cordially said no thanks. A few hours later I got up for a drink and as I was passing by this person I saw that the frum person next to him was putting tefilin on this guy.  I was happy and sad – happy that he is putting on tefilin but sad thinking “what did I do wrong?  Was it the tone of my voice or my smile etc (insecurity)?” Later when we landed I saw this Israeli again so I decided to ask him why he didn’t take my offer – he said to me that when I asked, he didn’t want because it’s just not something that he does.  But when another Jew asked again, he felt like it was a message from heaven -you just never know!

Clearly we cannot be discouraged and must continue our efforts. Another example comes from a Project Inspire Kol HaEzrach participant:

“I was sitting outside my College class speaking with Laura, when she asked me if I was Jewish I responded that I was. And, almost under her breath she revealed to me that she was as well. “I know, it doesn’t really look like it”, she said. And, she was right, her tattoo and Secular lifestyle wouldn’t have told me she was. But, as we continued to talk it became so obvious to me. I felt my soul connecting with hers. And, I thanked Hashem for giving me the opportunity to reach out to a fellow Jew. After a couple of cancellations, Laura joined my family for the second days. She found the singing very uplifting and I knew that she was inspired.”

Their guest cancelled twice, but in the end there was success.

As Chazal teach us, something good comes with effort and challenges. In all my years with Kiruv I can’t think of one family or person that I was able to bring closer to Hashem that didn’t entail some challenge. Whether it was banging on their doors a few times before they even answered it, or whether it was inviting countless times until they finally felt comfortable joining us for a meal.

I will tell you that we had a couple this year over the fifth night of Succos – we have been working with them for almost 3 years till they finally they accepted our invitations. It was incredible – to see the misconceptions that the husband had about Judaism, especially the idea of Judaism being all or nothing! After explaining that it is not, that every mitzvah matters, the husband said “ok I’m ready to keep Shabbos at least the entire Friday night” – and his son saying “finally” was so moving, but this took much time and worthwhile effort.

So to summarize – Kiruv is a long process – you didn’t learn to walk in a week and as we are all growing so is every Jew – never give up on a Jew just like God doesn’t give up on us!

And don’t forget, now that you’ve taken the first step and invited the person, especially if they came, follow up!  Send a thank you note or give them a call.  Invite them for a Shabbos if possible or look out for other Jewish opportunities to involve them in.  The most important thing is to strengthen the kesher you just created!  www.kiruv.com has more ideas how.  Again, please send us your story, (to 888-MY-KIRUV, www.kiruv.com, or [email protected]), however it went, to be entered in the raffle for two tickets to Israel.

Tizku L’Mitzvos!

Daniel A Coren
Project Inspire Monsey New York