The weekly Eida Magazine reports the Skvere community in NYS is calling for increased tznius and shmiras shabbos, to light candles a few minutes earlier than required, after the petira of a community member, Mrs. Weiss OB”M, 50, after succumbing to pneumonia which developed as a result of the flu. The Eida also mentions avreich Dovid Kahn OB”M, who died at 40, leaving two small children, citing the children’s mother was niftar a number of years ago.
The spread of swine (Mexico) flu in the USA, among the frum community, and now its subsequent spread in Eretz Yisrael, has rabbonim Shlita of the Eida concerned, in addition to other tragic events, citing the case of the fatal heart attack suffered by Chesky Erenfeld OB”M, who died while driving with his family from Toronto to NYC.
The Eida also mentions the tragedy of R’ Shlomo and Harel Dahan OB”M, who perished in the cesspool accident and other tragedies that have befallen Am Yisrael that are mentioned, such as the Monsey NY child, Yitzchak ben Chana, 2, who suffered a near fatal drowning and was in serious condition.
The Eida report comes amid confirmation of a growing number of confirmed flu cases in Yerushalayim and other areas of Eretz Yisrael, but it is important to add that to date, the cases in Eretz Yisrael have been light and physicians urge people not to panic.
The Eida quotes a halacha that states an illness that spreads is classified as “tzara ha’tzibur” (community affliction) and as such, we must increase tefillos and turn Heavenward and seek Hashem’s mercy during these difficult times.
(Yechiel Spira – YWN Israel)
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21 Responses
Yasher koach to the Rabbonim.
Isn’t it interesting that it’s always the women who are called upon when there is a cry for tshuva? Are the men such Tzadikim that they are absolved of improving their behavior in any way?
Most women in New Square represent the epitome of tznius.
I am not ch”v criticizing the Rebbe but it seems that the women are held responsible for all the tragedies r”l that befall Klal Yisroel!
Looks like azi is speaking out of turn. There are ample mekoros in Chazal and halacha, that every ma’main knows that when there is an עת צרה, we need to contemplate תשובה. Perhaps your area of תשובה is someplace else. But your cynicsm is in direct contradiction to חז”ל, and you should reconsider.
To #3: ” but it seems that the women are held responsible for all the tragedies…”
You can’t make a comment like that and say you’re not criticizing the Rebbe!! It would not be unlike saying that in Parshas Shlach when the plague broke out among Klal Yisroel, that Moshe told Aharon to rush out with the Ketores to save them. You might say “what did Aharon do wrong that he had to rush out? The obvious answer is that Moshe knew that the solution was the Ketores which had to be administered by Aharon.
Perhaps the Rebbe know better than us from where the yeshua can come quickest?
Tznius? Where do we begin? Sheitles that the untrained eye can’t tell the difference from that and natural hair? Shaitels that blow in the wind and have the same effect as real hair (if not 100 times better and prettier?) Sheitles that come in all sorts of colors (blonds, light brown, etc…?) Sheitles that come in all sorts of styles that are so incredibly attractive to men? Gdolei hador are yelling for us to wake up! Why do we have to wait until tragedies like the ones mentioned above hit too close to home. WHY? Tznius is not only clothing and behavior, it starts with hair! Hair is the most attractive part of a woman. Why are our husbands allowing their precious jewel (us the wives) to be adorned by other men? THIS IS A SUBJECT WITH BIG YETZER HARA! But for the safety of klal Yisrael, for the safety of your own family – please make the very hard step and only wear the sheitle at home – be attractive to your own husband at home and only your husband – only he should enjoy your beauty.
The only reason there are fine hechshers on sheitles is for the sole reason to inform consumers that there is no avoda zara hair associated with that particular wig. IT DOES NOT GIVE AN HECHSHER ON THE TZNIUS (OR LACK THERE OF). After all, who is the designer of these sheitle, a frum Chasid? Guess again……………….. It’s the to’eva of the goyim. What do they know from tznius? What do they care about tsnius? And most importantly, why should they care about how many eyes they will be mekalkel with their design? If you must wear a wig – then get one that looks like an old fashioned wig that doesn’t move – like the Rabbanit Kanyevski wears.
Harav Yehuda Yosefi, Shlita – lectures with intensity on this subject. He says that lack of tznius brings machalot into your home.
Biz’chut nashim tzidkaniot anachnu niga’el – it doesn’t say biz’chut gdolei dor, or biz’chut rosh yeshivot – BIZ’CHUT NASHIM TZIDKANIOT! How can we bring mashiach with all this to’eva and all this hair?
You can’t blame everything on the women. Let’s improve with tznius, and let the men work on anger.
Let’s try to minimize Sinas Chinam and increase Ahavas Chinam
for an extra chizuk of what the Rabbonim have requested, here is a letter that Revital Avraham, Z’L (19 years old) wrote just before her death. Her last will in testiment is to advertise her letter. It has been translated to English HERE IT IS:
My dear sisters,
I am writing to you in my last moments, with the last threads of my strength. I am writing to you with blood and tears, from the bottom of my broken and tormented heart.
Yes, I, Revital Avraham, 19 years old, am standing on the threshold of death, so young, but already feeling all the gates of life shutting slowly before me. I am like a beautiful flower closing its petals.
Like all of you, I had my dreams about love, husband, children and social position.
But Hashem has decided otherwise, and I know today that if I had lived differently, this would have not happened.
I was born in a religious family from the center of Israel. From the day I can remember, I knew I was a beautiful child. From kindergarten, I attracted everybody’s attention, and I knew I had been blessed with a rare beauty, and I am not exaggerating. Even though people were talking about my exceptional beauty, my dear and wise parents tried to minimize the effect of such a gift on me, and made all possible efforts to put the whole family on daily routine. But I was a bright child, and I cherished more and more my beauty.
My friends encouragements made me understand that beauty can buy anything in this world – friendship, position and honor. I learned to exploit it for my goals, I wore clothes which draw attention, my very long hair caused astonishment and envy, and every detail in my appearance was thoroughly taken care of. I enjoyed the long looks of people everywhere I went – to my deep regret.
My teachers in high school tried to change my mind, but it was already too late – I was attracted to a magic circle called “to please and be outstanding”.
I can remember one of my teachers’ words: “Revital, you have received a rare present, a special beauty – This is your trial in life, keep it carefully for the right person to come in your life”. I was pretending to be convinced, but these words were just passing by my ears. I was addicted to my looks and did everything to bring people to admiration. I know today that I have caused hundreds or even thousands of people to fail because of my clothing. I was really enjoying it!
And then I received a first warning sign. One evening, while preparing an omelet in the kitchen, and made a brisk turn and my beautiful long hair got caught in the fire and became in seconds a red and fearful flame. I was saved, but my hair had gone. I remember my hysterical crying in the hospital, and my father trying to console me: “Revital, Hashem has made a miracle. You could have been entirely burnt! You have now an opportunity to change and leave your foolish attitude behind you”.
But I didn’t listen. I was 16 years old then, and within two years my hair grew back to what it was, and everything was forgotten.
I was the queen of my class. My friends loved me, anything I wanted was granted, and I never was alone. I grew more and more beautiful with the years, and at 16, I began to put on make-up and tight clothes. At this stage, I even got involved in some trouble. It is hard for me to write about it, but I think you can guess.
I forgot to tell you about my grand-mother. She was a wonderful person, a real “Tzadekes” and I loved her very much. She was very sad and upset about my spiritual state of mind.
She was giving me money to buy more decent clothes, but nothing helped! She died before I was 17. I cried a lot and didn’t know how to live without her, and for a brief period, I even became a little bit more religious. But time eased the pain, and within a few months I was back to my bad habits, boastful and immodest as ever.
And then I received a second sign from above. One night I had a dream about my grand-mother. She was sitting on a stone and crying. I asked her why she was crying, and she pointed to her head without saying a word. I woke up very upset, but I forgot the whole thing very quickly, and this second sign melted away without any thought.
And then, I received the big blow. It came gradually but consistently. At the beginning, there were headaches, and my mother said I was tired and studying too much, that I should rest more, but deep down I felt it was something more serious.
After a month, I couldn’t even stand because of the headaches, and I thought my head was going to explode. My mother and I were worried and anxious on our way to the doctor, to get the answers to all the examinations and analyses I had been through, but the doctor’s face revealed the fearful truth. He said: “such a beautiful girl and so sick!” I burst into tears, asked for explanations. My mother and I were disoriented and helpless before this new and cruel reality: I had a cancerous tumor in my head.
It was only a question of time. I don’t remember how we got home that day. I just remember tears, fear, confusion and pain.
And suddenly I remembered the dream, my grand-mother crying and pointing to her head! If only I had understood at the time the meaning of that dream, my life would have different! But I didn’t give any importance to this dream and went on with my life. The next day, at the hospital, I began the treatment I never thought would be so painful. I felt death crawling slowly inside me, burning my bones, my blood, and my whole self.
Dear Hashem…You are all goodness, but I didn’t listen to you. Dear Father, I ignored your compassion and your messages.
The rest of my story is sad and painful, and I don’t even have the strength to write it.
My wonderful hair fell. Within a few months I was left completely bald, fearfully pale and weak. Every doctor I met was mentioning my rare beauty, and I, every time, felt my heart break a little bit more. Hashem had given me a precious gift, an outstanding beauty, and I had used it the wrong way, instead of keeping it intact and pure for a true cause. Oh Hashem!
Today I am 19 years old, living a tormented life. My days are counted, my illness is getting stronger and I feel death coming closer. I pray that my suffering be the atonement for my sins. I turn to you, my dear sisters, with a torn soul and a broken heart, and ask you to listen to my last words: be modest. There is Law and there is a Judge. And He sees all and knows all…and every one of our acts will be brought to judgment. I beg you: strengthen your modesty, don’t wait for signs, please don’t…
Do it for yourselves, do it for me!
My pillow is soaked with tears. I am writing with tremendous efforts. Please pray for me and say that you’ll keep modest so that I recover and be healthy again. I beg you… I want to live.
Revital Avraham
Dear sisters, our modesty is our power! How important it is!
Revital died a short time after writing this letter
Her last will was a request to publish it.
May her memory be blessed and her message embraced by all!
To #6,
You should look up the halacha before you accuse woman who wear sheitels as being untznius. According to most poskim, sheitels are mutar. Many rabbonim believe that a sheitel is preferred over other head coverings because they ensure that all hair is covered. Hat, snoods, and tichels are not reliable for covering all hair.
I always wear sheitels in public. Presently, I am learning with several women the halacha of tznius by Rav Binyomin Forst. Along with the Lubavitcher Rebbe, he paskens that wigs are preferred because of the reason I stated above.
Wigs have been the head covering of choice for many woman going back to the writings of the Mishna. It is even mentioned in the Mishna. The Rema and the Magen Avraham say in their writings that the wig is mutar.
I suggest you take a course on tznius before you judge others.
The jews in Mitzrayim were redeemed because of 3 things, they did not change their language, their names and they did not dress like the Mitzrim. I heard a class, that when a woman is dress B’tzinus, it is her equalivalant to learning torah. To those who say, that the men should not look, Hashem created them with that desire. We as women are responsible to make sure that we do everything in our power to prevent such thoughts. No one is saying to wear a paper bag over your head or a shmatte, but the wigs of nowadays are NOT kosher. As a woman, myself, I look and see,that the wigs look better then one’s own hair. When wigs were first permitted, the were ugly and bore little resemblance to the Human wigs of today. Many people wrongly use those opinions tojustify their use of the modern undetectable sheitels of today. In the past when a woman were sheitel, it was noticeable ot all, even from a distance, you could tell it was a with. It had a look that resembled straw like fibers of flax. Today, due to our great sins, one can not differentioate if it is a wigh or not. This is comparable to a person who makes every effort to make his food appear as if it were treif. In a similar way these women make every effort to make their hair appear as if it were not uncovered. Don’t say it is not true, ladies. Just last week, I heard a friend saying she liked, the pony tail wigs that are so popular now, but couldn’t find one she liked because all the ones she tried on made a big bump under the wig and the “wigs looked to wiggy”. Please don’t tell me those long flowing wigs are tzinus, If you do, please show me one rebetizin who would dare to wear such a thing. Most rabbis wives wear, short shoulder length wigs. Unfortunately, tznius is very lacking in the community. For all of you who say that we have to work on our middos and ahavas yisroel, that is fine too, but tziunus is the crown on a womans head and of major importance to her and her family. When is woman dresses b’tzinus it brings bracha and protection to her family. When Hashem brings these tragedies to klal yisroel, Kol Yisroel Arayvim Ze’h L’Zeh. And yes, Tzinius is a big deal!!
To #6,
I am tired of hateful self-righteous women, who feel the need to put down others for their ways of tznius. I along with other women wear shetels for the simple reason that it ensures that all of the hair will remain covered unlike other head coverings. You know as well as I do that tichels, hats, and snoods are very unreliable. Every day I see women who cover their hair with a tichel and 9 times out of 10 hair is usually exposed.
Wig-wearing women have there poskim to rely on. The Lubavitcher REbbe, Rav Moshe Feintein and many others deem sheitels mutar and the most reliable in ensuring all the hair is covered.
In addition, no where does it say in halacha that a head covering has to be ugly. The halacha is that a woman should cover her hair, period. What a woman chooses to wear is her business.
Thank you to Mr. elisha y for translating the letter of the late Revital Avraham, o”h. May it be a zechus for her and for all Klal Yisroel.
Could you please let us know where we could find the original Hebrew text of this letter? i would like to be able to share it with people who do not read English.
thank you, and tizku lemitzvos.
coltuv
dear sisters,
when a woman covers her hair with a sheitel she is covered completely. there are plenty of women out there who don’t wear sheitels yet their hair is not completely covered. granted, we should wear more aidel sheitels, for sure, there is room for lot of improvement but sheitels don’t take care of the tznius problem. TIGHT CLOTHES IS EXTREMELY PROVOCOTIVE, where as a sheitel is NOT PROVOCOTIVE, tight clothes bring to hirhurim and it is a very severe consequence. women mingling with men, talking freely with men in the market place, staying outside of the shul when the men are leaving, chatting with a cab driver or repairman, all these are areas of tznius which deserve our attention a lot more urgently than the sheitel. somehow when you say tznius the first thing is the sheite, sorry the sheitel is not what’s bringing on all these tzaros.
Revital’s letter is intensely moving, and deserves to be publicized in a separate posting. Does anyone know her yahrzeit. At least she was zoche to do teshuva and regret her mistakes in her lifetime. We should learn from her to do teshuva for all the things we need to.
#6 also mentioned that the color of the shaitel is a problem. What color isn’t tzniyus? Which color of hair that Hashem in His wisdom made is a problem for you? My cousin who is blond from birth complains that it’s a problem to find light colored shpitzels. They are deemed “modern”. Please.
As for the hechsher on wigs, lets see…
A) A Jew sends hair to China (where 99.9% wigs are made)
B) The Chinese people (and no Jews in sight)take the hair and make a wig
C) They send it back to the Jew
Things are TOTALLY in control of non-Jews in step B. Would you eat food that was treated that way? I don’t think my Rav would trust a hechsher like that.
Joseph – “Yasher koach to the Rabbonim.”
Which Rabbonim are you yasher koaching to?
So Michal, are you saying a beautiful looking long sheitel that doesn’t even look like a wig is preferable to covering the hair. That such a wig is tzinus!!?? Please be honest with yourself. BTW, the rabboim in the time of the Mishna paskened, that wigs were muttar because they were so ugly and no one wanted to wear one. Now they are undetectable. Even Goyim wear them nowadays to hide bad hair days. You don’t think covering the hair with hair is a little ridiculous, especially since it makes some women even more attractive looking, then their own hair? So basically you are saying a woman can wear a goregeous wig and look better outside the home then in her own home for her husband. A but a long gorgeous flowy wig is provactive. I have seen men look at such a woman. What is she doing to prevent such a thing? I am not saying she should stay home, but you have to be very careful with what you wear. I don’t wear long sheitels and trust me, no man looks my way. I make sure they don’t. There is only one man that I want looking at me, and it’s my husband. It is not the men’s fault they have that desire. Women have no idea what it is like for a man and say “well tell him not to look” It is a very hard nisayon for them. What can you do as a woman to help them in this nisayon? Unfortunately, not everyone is Yosef Hatzadkik, Zt”L. Our job as a woman is to make sure we are not doing the attracting.
The yetzer Horah has blinded our eyes. This is a sore topic on women. They don’t want to give up their sheitels. Why, because they want to blend in among the goyim. Do we really stand out in a sheitel. Also sheitels cost a lot of money. Thousands spent to look like you are not covering your hair. What a cliche.
Michal, you give 2 rabbonim who pasken a sheitel is muttar. Here are some who don’t.
Rabbi Shmuel HaLevi Vasner
Rabbi Chaim Kanievsky
Rabbi Menachem Shach
Rabbi Yosef Shalom Elyshiv
Rabbi Nissim Karlitz
The Rabbi of Visnitz
Rabbi Shmuel Auerbach
Rabbi Don Segal
Rabbi Sender Arlinger
Rabbi Ovadia Yosef
And you are right, a tichel doesn’t have to be ugly. I have seen women that wear them and they look beautiful!! And when wearing a tichel, even if some hair sticks out, it will look ugly as opposed to a sheitel where it adds to the beauty of a woman and makes her look attracting.
I am not trying to be self-righteous. I read and daven for Klal Yisroel on a daily basis that we should all be protected and for the arrival of Mashiach, but if there are known things that will bring Klal Yisroel, Shemira, and protection, then I am all for spreading the word.
the tight & short clothing AND sheitels both have to go.
#19 is absolutely correct – a sheitel may fulfill the letter of the law but certainly not the spirit of the law – tznius is not a set of guidelines “up until where” etc. – it’s a mindset. Quite often husbands are encouraging their wives to dress in a attention-garnering way because it’s more attractive to them – and they want their wives to look “good” in public – it make sme quite frustrated when my wife tells me women who are supposed to role models for the community are adorning long, eye-catching sheitlach because of pressure from their husbands
Revital’s letter is suspected to be a hoax. If anyone knows where this can be verified, please post.
to #22 – this is not the “real” problem? Lack of tznius is the “real” problem. Long, flowing, eye-catching shaitels are a problem. Yes, we should all definitely develop more ahavas Yisroel, have more toned-down simchos, try to help people with shidduchim, but tznius is a big issue. Rabbanim aren’t BLAMING
(con’t) Rabbanim aren’t BLAMING women–they are saying, “You have tremendous koach–use your G-d-given gifts l’shem shamayim.” Don’t finesse the fact that gdolim & poskim said a shaitel is fine to mean a stunning, flowing shaitel. Shaitels aren’t pattur from being tzniusdik. Everything a woman (and man) does should be tzniusdik and toned-down.
“Tznius is not a set of guidelines–it’s a mindset”–they’re not contadictory. They ARE a set of guidelines, AND a mindset.
If a husband wants his wife to look “that way,” to look like a movie star, to garner attention, perhaps she can slowly become more careful & more refined about the issue. If he’s receptive, they can go to a rav together about the issue.