It appears the man in his 50s who R”L took his own life earlier this week after learning his daughter was not accepted to first grade in Rechasim was deeply pained to his core over the discrimination and the embarrassment resulting from the situation.
In the letter left behind by the niftar, he writes “We are broken and desperate but steadfast in our position and we seek your assistance against those officials who ridicule us totally and refuse to accept the child for no justifiable reasons. There is no limit to the humiliation, contempt and disdain. I am furious, humiliated and demeaned”.
The niftar was 52-years-old and the father of eight children. He was a member of the local council and apparently reached a level of despondency that led him to such an act. In the two-page letter he explains what he and his family endured as they tried to put the girl in a school that she did not want to attend. He spoke of the feeling, that he and his family, including the children, are not suitable to enter the school that rejected them.
Walla reports that the girl was registered to attend the Beis Yaakov, but school officials told the dad they were not going to accept her. The family insists the girl was ousted because they are Sephardim. Seeking to find a solution, Rechasim education officials registered the girl to the Ohr Chodosh School. The family turned to the Education Ministry for assistance but were told the ministry backed the move citing the child was in a special ed. kindergarten setting and therefore required a smaller class and this was the case in Ohr Chodosh as opposed to Beis Yaakov.
(YWN – Israel Desk, Jerusalem)
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14 Responses
Is the girl finally accepted?
From: Gerry Mullen, a goy
Unbelievable story–a frum father takes his own life because no compassion or kindness or a frum school for his daughter in Yisreal of all places was given to him, to his daughter or to his family.
Suggest ALL ALL Jews ask HaShem for teshuva for this terrible crime by Jews against Jews. More Talmud Torah, more davvening and more CHESED CHESED be done by ALL Jews.
Also, a school in the family’s name be created in Yisreal
to remind Isrealis and ALL frum of what ill-considered deeds and acts can do.
I have a hard time believing that any school administrator anywhere will experience a pang of guilt over the murder of this man, and the murder of the child. It has become clear as day to me that the belief they have in the holiness of their rejection patterns is as precious to them as their statements of belief in Torah miSinai. I would wish that the tragic loss of this man would be an eye opener to the Klal. If so, this loss might not have been in vain.
The Gedolim have indeed spoken about this. Rav Steinman has repeatedly on innumerable occasions spoken out against this practice.
There is a remarkable disconnect, since the schools invariably claim these are the directions they received
Bottom line, THE GEDOLIM DO NOT RUN KLAL YISRAEL!
“The Gedolim” is simply a brand-name for the sundry askanim who lead us .
This is the problem the ashkanaz rabbis they discriminate against sephardim all the time
I one Time had a rosh yeshivah by my house from Israel for the weekend and he did not accept my cousin To hes yeshiva when my uncles a renown rabbi in yerushim and my father donated money to the yeahivah and my cousin was a great learner so tell me is that not discrimination?!!????
A real tragedy, both to the family and for a system that doesn’t provide psychological support to suicidal parents. I doubt he really considered the consequences of leaving his eight children yesomim. In this case, it clearly would have been better both for him and the children to enroll his special needs child in a public school while he worked through the beis Yaakov enrollment issues with the rabbonim and askanim from the school. Ultimately, a private school has the right to refuse admission to anyone so they cannot be held liable. The father must have had other issues since a school enrollment decision is generally not something that pushes a parent over the deep end.
Very hard to believe this story at face value. Must be more to the story.
I agree with comment number six that the father might of had more issues. But as a parent of a special ed child I do think it could drive parent sick when it gets to placing a child in a school and finally you decide which is right and they don’t accept you and you literally stay on the water
While the father claimed that his daughter was being discriminated against by her rejection by the school – the fact was his daughter was in a special education class. The government education office investigated the claim that the girl was being discriminated against -and rejected it. The school that he had applied was viewed as having larger classes that were not appropriate for her. It was not because he was sefardi.
Gadolhadorah, u got it all wrong as although a private school can refuse admission–these are yeshivas we are talking about –they take public money-tzedekah–so that makes them mechayev to the klal and also if u look at their “mission” –especially a beis yaakov… it usually states that their goal is to serve all the children to become …who adhere to Torah and follow in the Torah ways… WELL, DOES HASHEM ALLOW PRINCIPALS TO JUST REJECT CHILDREN FROM YESHIVAS WITHOUT THE HASKAMA FROM GREAT RAV??? no!! otherwise as u explained sometimes the only option is public school!!THESE PRINCIPALS MUST BE HUMBLED AND BEG FORGIVENESS!!as well as board members!! I am disgusted by this!!!
Let me tell you about DISCRIMINATION.I met an old sfardie friend in lakewood who lived in israel for many years and i asked him why he moved back.He told me you wont believe the story,he tried getting his son into school in jerusalem and the menahel told him we accepted to many sfardim already and if we take more than we will get a bad name so the only way you can get your son into school is if you switch his name from MIZRAHI to EZRACHI!!!! it was right before school and he had no choice and everyone called him ezrachi! DISGUSTING, mind you that he looks nothing like a sfardie he has payos and tzitzis out and his parents live in israel.
SO YES THERE ARE BIG PROBLEMS THERE! (AND IN AMERICA AS WELL)
I disagree with most of you. NO ONE commits suicide only because their daughter was not accepted to school! The man must have suffered from some sort of emotional issues as well to do something so drastic. It says in his letter how much pain it caused his family. Can you imagine the pain and humiliation they are feeling now that their father committed suicide?!! The blame CANNOT be placed on the school officials. Their reasons for not accepting the girl may be wrong, but they can’t be held responsible for someone with emotional issues killing himself. I personally have a brother that had a very hard time getting his son accepted into yeshiva. It was disappointing, and yeah it was embarrassing for him to have to admit to his friends that he couldn’t get his kid into school, but he worked on it until he found a yeshiva that was willing to accept his son. This idea that a school not accepting a child can lead to suicide is preposterous!! Many Yeshivos and Bais Yaakov’s are picky about the children that they accept. You may think that they are wrong for it, and maybe they are, but it is not a reason for someone to take their own life.
The root of the the issue in all this, is the stigma associated with not being in the “best” schools. That is the social ladder in Chareidi Israel and the perception as the only hope to be “successful” ( get the right shidduch, get into a well paying kollel etc). It’s pretty messed up.
Enrollment applications are pre-rejected every day by the frum girl schools in Brooklyn. Your daughter has little chance of being accepted to a good school if you have a funny sounding last name; especially Russian or Slavic.