[By Rabbi Yair Hoffman]
Pesach is filled with Halachic questions. Halachic Hotlines across the country are ringing off the hook. One of the biggest questions that is often asked, however, is the status of inviting a non-observant relative or friend for Yom Tov who will probably drive back home after the Seder is over.
There are actually two issues involved. The first issue, of course, is Lifnei Iver – placing a stumbling block before the blind. We do not wish to cause a fellow Jew to stumble in Torah law.
Rav Moshe Feinstein zt”l addressed this issue in two responsa (Igros Moshe, OC 1:98, 3:71) to a Rabbi who was considering inviting people to shul who would drive on Shabbos. Rav Feinstein not only forbids it, but he also introduces the idea that someone who causes someone to violate any prohibition is considered a Meisis – an enticer in Halacha.
A number of Poskim have qualified Rav Feinstein’s position as having been issued in a time and place when the Kiruv movement had not yet developed. Rav Moshe Shternbuch in his T’shuvos V’hanhagos (OC 1:358) rules that it is permissible, but there are three important caveats:
• To minimize Chilul Hashem – desecration of Hashem’s Name, one should ensure that the guests be circumspect and not park in front of the house on Shabbos.
• The host must inform the guest of the centrality of Shabbos, the seriousness of violating it, and the sweetness of observing it.
• Giving an option to remain there and not violate Shabbos is a requirement that many Poskim require as well.
The second issue is a little known halachah that is found in Shulchan Aruch (OC 512:1), where it is actually forbidden to invite a Cuthite because of the concern that one may come to cook for them. The Mishna Brurah extends this to anyone who does not keep Shabbos publicly. Compunding the difficulty, is that it is clear from the Pri Magadim that the prohibition is not just to cook for them, but even to invite them. This position was repeated by Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach zatzal in his novella on the Gemorah.
This is an issue that many Poskim have struggled with, particularly in a situation where the host issuing the invite does so in order to bring the guest closer to Torah and Mitzvos.
Although each person should consult his own Rav or Posaik, the basis that some Poskim use for leniency is as follows:
1] It is not clear exactly who is a public Shabbos violator, and what constitutes “public” in the eyes of halachah. Some Poskim are of the opinion that only farm work, avodas karka, is considered a “public” desecration of Shabbos. Certainly other forms of Shaabbos violation are biblically prohibited, but perhaps they may not be considered “public” for the purposes of this halachah.
2] There are Rishonim that rule in accordance with the view that the “extra cooking” that happens here is a Rabbinic prohibition – not a biblical one. Even though this is a minority view, a possible proponent of this approach is the Rashba. And while we cannot take this view against both the Rambam and the Shulchan Aruch, in combination with the first factor when dealing with the possibility of bringing someone closer to Torah – there may be room to be lenient.
3] There is also the view of the Yaaros Dvash who differentiates between Chuthites and a Mumar l’chalel Shabbos, a Shabbos violator. The Yaarov Dvash’s view is against that of the Mishnah Brurah and it was also only said in a Drasha and not in a halachic venue. Nonetheless, some Poskim cite his view in combination with the other two factors to be lenient.
Shockingly enough, the issue is not limited to homes. What about the hundreds of Kosher Pesach hotel programs over Pesach? How do they deal with this second factor of inviting or hosting a possible open Shabbos violator among their guests? Rav Eliezer Waldenberg in his Tzitz Eliezer (Volume VIII #17) deals with the question and suggests some of the aforementioned possibilities as a reason to be lenient.
Other factors mentioned by Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach (Halichos Shlomo, Pesach) to be lenient are the Mitzvah of Kivud Av v’Aim – honoring parents, and of Aivah causing serious hate. These are all factors to be lenient, but as mentioned earlier, each person should consult his own halachic authority. The second factor does not, of course, apply to Shabbos. However, it does apply to non-Shabbos Yom Tov days.
May we all be zocheh to a complete Geulah very soon.
The author can be reached at [email protected]
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9 Responses
Non-frum family members who have been coming for years and not become frum cannot be included in the heter of kiruv. The way around it is for them to come before sunset for the first Seder (not the second Seder when it is already Yom Tov). Even according to Rav Moshe, zt”l, there is a way of having them come over without inviting them. Since they have been coming in previous years before sunset, one need not invite them. They’ll come anyway. If they call and ask what time they should come, just tell them to look up candle lighting time in their Jewish calendar or online.
Very confusing…
The bottom line is that it’s better not to invite family members, but if they have already been coming for years, you don’t have to disinvite them. Just don’t call them up and formally invite them.
Thank you – But this requires a follow-up. This is far from the only issue. Another two that come to mind are, (1) Yayin: Especially keeping in mind the issue of what really defines a mechallel Shabbos. What if the Seder meal inlcudes a not-yet-frum person but they are keeping the laws as you instruct them for the time they are spending with you – and also there is another party who wants to keep the hiddur of non-mevushal . Any loopholes for the makpid person?
(2) How to handle the Kol Isha vs offending the guest issue. I mean EVERYBODY knows the chorus of Dayyeinu, if nothing else, and would be bound to chime in…
How could the development of the Keiruv movement change the halachah? That would make it a kefirah movement, not keiruv. Breaking Shabbos does not become muttar because you want to attract people back to Torah. You have to do that within the framework of the Torah, or else it isn’t the Torah you’re bringing them to.
Also, R. Hoffman does not consider the fact that reciting the Haggadah in front of improperly dressed women is an absolute איסור. To be sure about this, I asked my Rebbe, R. Elyashiv, and later R. Scheinberg, and they both said that the only היתר for this exists in people’s imaginations.
Keiruv is essential, but only when you’re doing to uphold the Torah, not to wave it aside because it’s inconvenient.
One piece of advice. If they do come for the seder, dont point any fingers during the 4 sons section.
To # 4 Mrs. D: Regarding wine, use mevushal wine to avoid any problems. (Or if you’re makpid to use non-mevushal, make sure you pour the wine for your non-frum invitees and that you don’t place the wine near them).
In terms of Kol Isha for Dayenu, have the men sing loudly and drown out the women.
Regarding immodest dress, tell your guests before coming to please dress modestly, as you can’t recite blessings in front of immodest attire.
Dear ylavon, why did you mention that R. Elyashiv was you Rebbe? The unlikelihood of the (past) godol hador being your personal Rebbe (whether or not it is true) doesn’t lend anymore credence to your words – adarabbah, it casts them into suspicion.
Now, it should be clear from r. Hoffman’s words that halachah is divided on this issue, so quoting who you quoted may not be the end of the story (be careful not to possul others – we’ve had quite enough of that over here with the talmidim during the elections).
Your question to the gedolim cited focused on reading the Haggadah in front of improperly dressed women:
Firstly, one can position guests in a way that avoids this problem, so that one faces no ervah. I dont know how and when you squeezed in your questions to the gedolim that you cite, but this would have been a simple solution to your question. It obliquely suggests that your question was posed to them in a restricted way and therefore cannot be relied upon to pasken for others – despite the general nature of their reply. Please supply exact details of the circumstances of the question that you posed to them.
Secondly, the Rabbonim of those engaged in kiruv rechokim know the rule of “eis la’asos l’Hashem” and when to apply it – and it is employed by Shofar, Hidabroot and just about every rav that speaks in front of a mixed kehal. Ask those engaged in kiruv of this nature and their gedolim, rather than expanding a personal “Haggadah at the Seder” sheiloh to a wider sheiloh.
Ask about the heteirim of the S’ridei Eish (re mixed youth groups after the second world war), as illustration of the above mentioned concept, and the Aruch Hashulchan (speaking divrei Torah in front of uncovered hair of married ladies).
All the best
#7
I’m saddened to see such words.