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On Yom Kippur Shimmy is sitting in Shul about to pass out.
He sees his friend Yankel awake & alert.
Shimmy asks Yankel how he does it?
Yankel tells him he uses a caffeine suppository.
Next year before Yom Kippur Shimmy walks into a pharmacy & says, “I’d like to buy 175 caffeine suppositories.”
The Pharmacist asks, “Why do you need so many?”
Shimmy says, “Because I’m sponsoring the Kiddush.”Why does it take so long to lein the megilla in satmar? They bang every time it says medinah
where was sprinkes invented Vashti
How do you know that telephones were around during the Purim story?
Cuz Achashveirosh gave Haman a ring, then hung him up.Why did the שכור cross the road?
What road?
Why do we lain some parts in the eicha tune? So that litvaks can enjoy purim too
so why dont we lain the whole megillah in the eicha tune? well. that would be Holelus!
BELOW IS NOT A JOKE BUT ACTUALLY A VERY SERIOUS MESSAGE DIRECTLY FROM HASHEM
THE MESSAGE:
In the miracle of klal yisroel being saved in the story of Purim. Both main characters being complete opposites, from the words of ברוך מרדכי to the opposite of ארור המן both have the same Gematria/numerical value of 502 which is the Gematria of the word בשר which refers to the physical body of a person and could have chas VShalom destroyed All of klal yisroel’s בשר if we had not immediately gathered together as one loving nation and openly accepted Hashems wake up call message for serious Teshuva and Achdus like we immediately did and we’re miraculously saved. What are we waiting for in today’s generation when there’s sadly so much horrific tragedies hitting klal yisroel rachmana litzlan to bring us to immediate serious Teshuva and Achdus like we did in the story of Purim? Do we Chas VShalom need it to get any worse? Have we not lost enough בשר in klal yisroel already? Isn’t the situation in klal yisroel bad enough already? So what’s the true honest answer why we have not accepted Hashems wake up call for serious Teshuva and Achdus together immediately to stop the tzaros in klal yisroel?i think sam klein has Jerusalem syndrome
also, @sam-klein, saying something you wrote as “directly from Hashem” even if the content were accurate to Torah teachings would make you a nuvi sheker, which would be chayev misa if the sanhedrin were around.
you play with fire because you either don’t know or don’t care
Ahavas Yisroel goes hand in hand with Sinas Rashuyim, those who are not part of klal yisroel.
like the holy Chofetz Chaim wrote in his eponymous sefer:
ה. וכל זה האיסור של לשון הרע הוא דוקא על איש שעל פי דין תורה הוא
עדיין בכלל עמיתך דהיינו עם שאתך בתורה ובמצות, אבל אותן האנשים שמכירם
שיש בהם אפיקורסות (ח) מצוה לגנותם ולבזותם בין בפניהם ובין שלא בפניהם
בכל מה שהוא רואה עליהם (ט) או ששומע עליהם דכתיב לא תונו איש א ת עמיתו
ולא תלך רכיל בעמיך והם אינם בכלל זה שאינם עושים מעשה עמך, ונאמר הלא
משנאיך ה׳ ס אשנא ובתקוממיך אתקוטנז וכר, ואפיקורס <יא) נקרא הכופר כתורה
ובנבואה מישראל בין בתורה שבכתב ובין בתורה שבעל פה ואפילו הוא אומר כל
התורה מן השמים חוץ מפסוק אחד או קל וחומר אחד או גזירה שוה אחת או
דקדוק אחד גם הוא ככלל הזה.a person who thinks he is being “machmir” in “ahavas chinam” by loving those he is obligated to hate is really destroying the world with his “ahavas rashoyim”
i commented to @sam-klein with a quote from sefer chofetz chaim, but it seems the editors rejected it.
editors, can you remove the offensive bit and post the comment?
Ard,
I thought that only has to do if one thinks he’s moshiach
somejew- or hes gone off the deep end
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