To properly commemorate those communities that were destroyed al kiddush Hashem, the Rabbi Leib Geliebter Memorial Foundation/ Yizkereim, has developed an educational awareness campaign to reinforce the proper and respectful approach and to ensure that an essential tefilla, Av Harachamim, is said by all following the Yizkor service this Shavuos and during all Yomim Tovim when Yizkor is commemorated. The initiative calls for all Shuls to wait for mispallelim who have parents and traditionally leave Shul during Yizkor, to first reassemble and then to together recite the meaningful Av Harachamim tefilla with the proper kavana that this communal Yizkor deserves.
Did you know that that Av Harachamim was composed over 900 years ago? The tefilla was written after the bloody massacres of the Crusades. One of the most powerful tefillos, it commemorates the sacrifices of the kedoshim and, honors the men, women and children who preceded us and enabled our Jewish survival. Originally only recited on the Shabbos before Shavuos, it eventually became popular in Ashkenazic communities to recite it every Shabbat (except on a “festive” Shabbos when Tachanun would not be recited if it were a weekday or when there’s a special event such as BirchasHaChodesh).
During the Sefirah period – when most of the Crusader massacres actually occurred, as well as subsequent tragedies such as the Tach V’Tat Pogroms, and in recent times the destruction of Warsaw ghetto and the massacre of Hungarian Jewry – in almost all Shuls Av Harachamim is always said.
On a Yom Tov when the Yizkor service is commemorated, Av Harachamim is said after Yizkor. “Av Harachamim is a communal Yizkor – “Yizkereim Elokeinu L’tova” (HEBREW) – memorial prayer, and not a personal Yizkor,” said Dr. Joseph Geliebter, founder and director of Yizkereim. This campaign will directly benefit the entire Tzibor, those who say Yizkor as well as those who do not, and are out of Shul during the Yizkor, and may be confused whether to say Av Harachamim upon their return to Shul since often it has already been completed.
“This initiative is especially relevant now because for the generation of those who survived the Holocaust, the final moments of ne’ilah are approaching, and we their offspring and bearers of the torch of their remembrance, must ensure that the kedoshim will be remembered by future generations,” said Dr. Geliebter.
This Shavuos marks the 70th anniversary of the destruction of the Hungarian Jewish communities. By this time, almost 90 percent of Polish Jewry and most of the rest of Eastern European Jewry were already annihilated, and the deportations of Hungarian Jews to Auschwitz were at their peak.
Let us join together at this auspicious time to commemorate the Kedoshim with a communal Av Harachamim recited in unison with kavana at the end of Tefilas Yizkor.
The Av Harachamim Yizkor Awareness campaign is co-sponsored by the Orthodox Union, the National Council of Young Israel, and the Israel Division of International Young Israel.
For more program information, downloadable fliers and posters, and more information on Yizkereim programs visit, www.yizkereim.org
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7 Responses
Kol hakovod to this group for their effort to instill some respect for the yizkor segment of the tefillah on yom tovim. Having all the tzibur in the shul for Av Harachamim is a good start. Next year b’yh, they will begin chipping away and the minhag to run out of shul for the yizkor itself if one’s parents are still alive. It is a terrible minhag that disrespects the memory of the kedoshim and imposes needless emotional pain on those who have lost parents or immediate family. Everyone should consider respectfully remaining in shul and say yizkor for the memory of the kedoshim or simply stand and remain in silent unity with those who are not so fortunate. One may recite Yizkor for any Yid who is niftar, even if not immediate family. The mindless race for the exits before the chazzan begins has become part of a superstition that not doing do will bring bad luck and result in c’v having to say yizkor the following year.
When people are finished reciting Yizkor in our shul, we call in everyone to recite a communal Yizkor for those who were murdered in the Holocaust and those who fell in defense of E”Y. We then recite Av Harachamim.
וינקום לעינינו נקמת דם עבדיו השפוך
Talk to the parents, not the kids who are leaving. It’s the parents who scare the kids into thinking that they have to leave. Just like they think that if their kid says kaddish they’re going to die.
People leaving Shul during Yizkor if both parents are alive is a well-established Hanhaga that I’ve seen some well-known Poskim follow (back when their parents were alive). There are numerous reasons given – including things like Ayin Hara to Kavod for their parents. Knocking it as a “terrible minhag” is wrong – there is definitely a basis for it, even if one might disagree.
In my Shul, they say Yizkor for Holocaust victims and fallen Israeli soldiers and terror victims with everyone in shul, then people whose parents are both alive go out, then everyone comes back for Av HaRachamim. All is done with Kavod, especially considering that just about everyone in the Shul knows someone or close family of someone who was killed either in war or a terror attack.
an Israeli Yid
For those who believe it is a terrible minhag to walk out if you are not reciting Yizkor, here are some very good mekoros for doing so:
Rav Efraim Zalman Margolies (Shaarei Ephraim 10:32) suggested that perhaps the practice was instituted in order to not have some saying Yizkor while others were silent. Chazal seemed to feel that any instance where some are praying and others are silent, this was not a good sign for the community (See Berachos 20b).
The Gesher HaChaim (31:7) suggested that such silence in the community, in such large numbers would appear as if the community were splitting within itself (Agudos Agudos). This would indeed not be true as
the community will rejoin itself in unity after Yizkor. However, the mere appearance of a split does not bode well for the community and thus, it was not to be demonstrated through long silences by large sections of the Tzibbur.
Pischei Shaarim was concerned for an Ayin Hara. One whose parents are still alive might induce the ire of others who are remembering their loved ones when he makes his own requests as they recall theirs. The
author utilizes an example of Rav Papa and Abaye (Yevamos 106a) todemonstrate that indeed, this is a concern.
Tosefet Chaim (commentary to Chayeii Adam, Hil. Shabbos end of Klal 7) explains that a further concern raised by remaining in the room is a fear that the person might recite Yizkor. This would be a bad sign as it is “Bris Kerusa l’Sifatayim” and should not be done.
To Reb Yid (no.3). You are 100 percent right but I think there needs to be some leadership from the rav of each shul to gently “suggest” not running out during yizkor and noting that there is no requirement to do so. Our shul each year publishes a list of those from the IDF or residents of EY who were niftar during the prior year from terroist actions and asks everyone in the shul to “adopt” the responsibility for saying yizkor on their behalf. The key is not to make people feel “guilty” for following a questionable minhag that they were taught as kids and have passed on to their own kids.
Sepharadim are Jews too and they don’t say Av HaRachamim…or Yizkor for that matter…