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MAILBAG: Behind the Smile: The Hidden Strain of Mental Illness During Yom Tov


We are deep in the Yom Tov season, a time traditionally filled with joy, togetherness, family, and connection. But for someone like me, who battles anxiety and depression, it’s also a time when my world gets turned upside down. Normally, it’s the structure, the distractions, and the steady support of my routine that keep me afloat.

Recently, I’ve heard mental illness compared to diabetes—just as a diabetic needs insulin to survive, someone struggling with their mental health often needs medication, therapy, and a lot of support to function.

In my community, people know me for running an at-home daycare for 14 years. They know me for the clothing Gemach I run that helps hundreds of families. They know me as the founder of a mental health organization that offers support to those who struggle. What people don’t see, though, is the daily battle I fight with an invisible illness. I may look fine as I go through the motions of daily life, but what they don’t know is how exhausting, painful, and overwhelming it is for me to get through each day. The panic attacks, the crushing weight of depression, the unhealthy urges—it’s a constant fight with my own mind, which often tries to convince me that the world would be better off without me.

The structure of everyday life and my network of therapy and support groups are my lifelines. But during Yom Tov, everything is upended.

I’m not sharing this for pity. I’m sharing because I know how hard this time can be for those like me, who live with an illness that most people don’t want to talk about. I’m grateful to have built a community of individuals who also live with this struggle. Together, we’ve become a family, offering each other support during these especially challenging times.

In my community, we have professional-run support groups that provide a safe, validating space for those who suffer to connect with one another. During this season, it is to them that I turn—to cry, to scream, to find solace and rid myself of the loneliness and shame that so often accompany this illness.

If you’re struggling during this time, please don’t hesitate to reach out. You may feel lost, alone, scared, sad, or hopeless, but know that there are many who understand, who can validate your feelings, and who are ready to hold your hand through it all. You don’t have to do this alone.

You can reach me at [email protected] or text/Whatsapp me at 347-433-4742
The views expressed in this letter do not necessarily reflect those of YWN. Have an opinion you would like to share? Send it to us for review. 


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