ujm – The Kiruv movement has a much bigger problem than what you mention – the fact that the Kiruv movement is past its prime. The effect of several generations of intermarriage and assimilation among the Conservative and Reform combined with the disproportionate and outsized growth of Kollel as a de facto way of life and “education” (or lack thereof) for chareidim have resulted in a Kiruv situation with too few candidates for kiruv and too many chariedi candidates to work in kiruv. As Rabbi Adlerstein so eloquently wrote (https://cross-currents.com/2012/12/19/klal-perspectives-the-kiruv-issue/):
“Today, kiruv is a job description. For a yungerman on the cusp of leaving kollel to earn a living, and without any specific career training, one of the options for consideration is kiruv.”
Even the classic “proofs” for Orthodox Judaism a la Rabbis Kelemen, Gottlieb, and Mechanic are passe. As an article in the Jewish Action a few months ago put it” “Proofs for the Torah?! That is so 90’s!”
So before patronizing us with your chareid self-righteous attitude of who’s in and who’s out, it’s time to look in the mirror and start doing a serious cheshbon hanefesh.