Do you have the same question about the chasunas and bar mitavas that have dancing? An event that is for chizzuk hatorah where the dancing and singing is to give cavod to the torah certainly takes priority over the “simchas” above, whose primary purpose is to celebratory in nature, although those are a mitzvah as well. I’m also stam curious if you walk around all day with a “partzuf tisha b’av” or if you reserve these types of crticism for the lomdei torah only. I’ll end off with quoting the Rambam in הל׳ תענית פ״ה הי״ד who famously writes as an exception to the issur of singing music while drinking wine:
וכן גזרו שלא לנגן בכלי שיר. וכל מיני זמר וכל משמיעי קול של שיר אסור לשמח בהן ואסור לשמען מפני החרבן. ואפלו שירה בפה על היין אסורה שנאמר (ישעיה כד ט) “בשיר לא ישתו יין”. וכבר נהגו כל ישראל לומר דברי תשבחות או שיר של הודאות לאל וכיוצא בהן על היין
The implication of the Rambam is that songs of praise to Hashem and the like were not included in the issur of singing on yayin. This is because, as is evident from the sugya in gittin .ז, the issur is because one shouldn’t have too much simcha after the galus and churban, but songs of praise and thanks and of a spiritual nature are viewed as an avodah and not as stam “simcha”, and as such are not forbidden. If so, col shecein v’col shecein when we’re not dealing with an actual issur but rather a sensitivity, that singing and dancing of that nature is not a contradiction to aveilus.
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