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Give it up already. This “why are my sons dying while yours are safe” is a totally emotional argument which holds no water.
The reality is that the Bnei Torah sitting in learning are being mezakeh the soldiers כל שעה ושעה. That is their tafkid. Just because it does not involve danger of death does not mean it is less useful or that they are not “sharing the burden”. That phrase is nothing but a leftist talking point, I’m sorry to say. The Bnei Torah are the Shevet Levy of our time, and Shevet Levy was not required to serve in the Jewish army. Mind you, the IDF does not have the halachic status of a Jewish army, and this war does not have the status of a milchemes mitzvah. This is the position of the Gedolei Hador (as smart and pious as some Religious Zionist rabbonim may be, none have the actual status of Gedolei Hador, which would give them far, far, far much more halachic power than they have now).
Furthermore, the reason is not necessarily shmad. It is a problem of weakening the chareidi way of life and giving into non-chareidi pressure. We will not abandon our holy way of life to join the IDF. They do not need us, and they will not have us. End of story.