Menachem, welcome back!
“I have never seen bochurim eating at the same table as non-related girls. Bochurim would not go to a friend’s house for Shabbos or for a meal if they have sisters in their age group at home.”
I have. In regular Lubavich homes all over the world.
“During the engagement (which is usually about 2 months), chosson and kalla usually meet once every 2-3 weeks (so about 4 times during engagement), the less the better. However, the Rebbe encouraged the chosson and kallah to stay be in different cities for the duration of the engagement, so, depending on the distance, the meetings are sometimes less frequent.”
I know how he encouraged that, but you’re still missing the point. When they are in the same city, as is often the case all over the world, they usually meet much more often than once it 2-3 weeks. Again, I know this from experience. But even 2-3 weeks is far too often, and thus considered a davar nevalah, in other chassidic circles. Not to mention the hours-long facetime calls that take place between those meetings. (I just did mention it, didn’t I?)
“Until about 21, pretty much all the chassidishe bochurim don’t have [smartphones – Arso]. Closer to marriage it does become more common (with strong filters obviously).”
That is so not true on both points. Again from knowledge, not conjecture.
In regards to your defence of CS about “acting on” the Rambam’s halachos. You are taking the point out of context. Of course we are meant to act on the halachos, and in the case of the criteria we – or actually the Sanhedrin, I imagine – are meant to act on it when a candidate arises to see if he UNEQUIVOCALLY fits those criteria. But CS explained that when she wrote “act on” it she meant to try to identify a candidate, not to rule whether a candidate fit. The discussion was searching for a candidate, and that’s what she was talking about.