Hi,
Can I start by saying, if you are struggling, you are alive. Life is a constant battle. I know you want you nisyonos to be in other areas, we all wish they were, but that’s not how life works.
Hashem has given you, and many others, these challenges and tests for you to work on these areas. Hashem likes us to be super strong when it comes to our relationships. Same as when going to the gym. If you decide to work on your biceps, then the biceps is an area which will hurt. You will have to push yourself harder than you can imagine, you will have to work out on days that you don’t want to, or days when you aren’t feeling well enough, you will suffer injuries, pulled muscles and more. But if the goal is to end up with big muscles, then that’s the way it is. Same with your yetzer harah. If it is to get stronger, it has to be pushed up to and past it’s limit. And it has to be done hundreds and thousands of times. There’s no other way to grow in a certain area other than be bombarded with tests over and over again.
As far as the feeling of challenges, I’m with you on that one. Sometimes it can feel overwhelming and that you just don’t have the tools to fight the battle. I’m with you on that. There’s no ignoring it. God put us in this world and said, I want you to improve dozens of things. You may only actually succeed in one or two areas, but the pressure has to be there. It’s rough out there. The challenges are many and from all angles.
May Hashem help you through the challenging times.