to wtsp
I’ve been reading your question and responses (and sniggering at many of the responses – which you ably dismissed).
Your question as to why schools don’t/won’t give instruction in the area you are asking about has been correctly responded to, but I would add another more compelling reason: they are simply not qualified to do so. These questions require halachic decisions, and schools are not geared for that. Yes, they can give students a general idea of Laws of Shabbes, tefillah etc, but should never arrogate the position of Posek, most definitely not in such a sensitive area, where the Talmud rules that only one-to one instruction is permitted.
Parents are fine, if you have a sufficiently close and trusting relationship, but few teens would turn to their parents once the problems have escalated to the stage you imply. Not only today, but it was the same when I was your age 60-odd years ago. And probably well before that as well.
Thus questions such as yours must be addressed to such a posek. I don’t mean a Maran-Posek-haDor sort of Posek, but a competent and respected Rov. However, since such a Rov would not sit down and discuss these matters with a woman (and if he offers to, run a mile), the (centuries-old) procedure is that women approach his wife, and she conveys the question to him, and returns with the answer – and in your case will probably sit down and discuss at length with you your questions.
If, for any reason, you don’t feel comfortable with the rabbinical choice you’ve made – eg you might feel they are too judgemental, unsupporting, or whatever – there is no reason why you can’t try elsewhere. Simply not liking the answer is not sufficient reason. But you do have a right to guidance and support, and they have an obligation to deliver that to the best of their ability.
Your present indecision will pass – gam zeh yaavor. I wish you success in your quest, and may you only grow and mature through this test, and – when the time comes – found a beautiful Jewish home of your own.
Menu