Andrew Goldberg, a documentary filmmaker wrote a disturbing account published in Newsweek of the antisemitism his 12-year-old son endured in a “well-regarded public school” in Westport, Connecticut. It should be noted that the incidents occurred prior to the October 7th Hamas assault of Israel which spurred a surge of antisemitism throughout the world.
Goldberg wrote that the antisemitic taunts began with someone his son considered a “friend.”
“One student, whom my son considered a friend, invited my son to sign up for his “camp” which had ‘great showers’—’Camp Auschwitz.’ He said another Jewish classmate of theirs had already signed up.”
“My son, who is just 12, found this concerning and upsetting, but this was a new friend, and he hoped this interaction was not indicative of anything more.
“Later, the same boy was at our house with my son watching the satirical show South Park. In one of the episodes they saw, a character dressed as Hitler shouts: ‘We must exterminate the Jews!’
“This boy then proceeded to say: ‘We must exterminate the Jews!’ to my son on a regular basis at school.
“When we learned of all this from our son we were floored. We contacted the school and met with school officials.
“We asked what expertise, training, and experience they had to deal with antisemitism and racism. They assured us they took this ‘very seriously.’ They would perform an ‘investigation.’ They tried to convince us they had the skills to handle this.
“The next day, one of the officials called my son to the office. The way my son explains it, it was an interrogation. He claimed he was asked why he ‘showed’ South Park to his friend, when in fact they had merely watched TV. Did my son think it was funny? What was he trying to accomplish? He came home shaken. I considered this a bad start.
“The school then presented a ‘safety plan ‘for our son. Among other things, he could sit at another lunch table. He could see a trusted adult if he felt unsafe. Later, we were told of some assigned seating and class partners.
“But I didn’t think that anything I saw in the safety plan—or any of their communications—addressed the antisemitism and bigotry, or how to use this as a teachable moment for students and faculty. Instead, the safety plan seemed to just be different ways my son could move around the building.
“Over the next days, my son showed us more texts from classmates and told us more stories about the significant antisemitism he’d been subjected to and witnessed from multiple students. On one occasion, a boy at his home shot my son with a squirt gun yelling: ‘Shoot the Jew!’
“While all this was happening, we watched my son get increasingly sad. His fun, childlike energy was dissipating. As word got out, most of his friends dropped him. He was too upset to return to class. It was incredibly painful to witness as a father, and I would wish this on no parent.”
Goldberg continued that weeks went by with the school claiming that “their investigation was ongoing.” Feeling helpless they hired an education attorney. And realizing their son had “become a pariah through no fault of his own,” they enrolled him in a private Jewish school.
“To find some closure, our lawyer asked the Westport public school system for two things: Help us offset some of the tuition of the new school, and answer our questions about what training and policies were in place (or coming) to deal with the same things that happened to my son. We didn’t want this to happen to others.
“The school district then told our lawyer they’d be willing to provide enough money for roughly one year of tuition, but they again did not answer the questions we’d posed. The money was less than needed to get him through middle school, but, exhausted, we said we’d accept.
“Then we read the proposed settlement agreement and came to the only reasonable conclusion one could: The money they were offering was not to help our son, it was to buy our silence.
“Our lawyer explained that many settlement agreements have language that prevents you from discussing the terms of the settlement itself. That is, you’re expected to keep secret that you received a payment, and you are not to share the amount. This is standard.
“But this agreement went much further. It read:
“…the Settling Parties agree that all aspects of this Settlement Agreement, including, but not limited to, the facts and circumstances leading to this Settlement Agreement and all communications in all forms (e.g., oral, written) that occurred during the settlement process, shall be kept confidential by all Settling Parties to the extent permitted by law..”
“This meant that if we agreed to the terms, we’d be obligated to be silent about the ‘facts and circumstances’ of what happened to our son. In other words, I, my wife, and most importantly, our 12-year-old son could never speak about the antisemitism he endured and how he was bullied.
“In a spectacular demonstration of being tone deaf, the school had sent their version of the settlement agreement with their disturbing confidentiality terms just days after Hamas attacked Israel.”
“In the painful wake of more than a thousand Jews being violently murdered, this was incomprehensible. And it was made all the worse since it came from the people we hoped would place the interests of children first.
“We responded in no uncertain terms that we viewed this as hush money. We’d agree to keep the settlement and money terms confidential, but we couldn’t agree to be silent about our experiences.
“It seemed especially inhumane to ask this of a 12-year-old. Preventing a traumatized child from speaking about their pain only traumatizes them more.
“The school refused our request to remove the confidentiality terms. So we declined their money.”
(YWN Israel Desk – Jerusalem)
4 Responses
Dear Reb Andrew,
You are one lucky fellow. Your son just got an education of who eisav really is. Now, PLEASE take the next step and put him (at least) into a Jewish day school.
Good for you. Don’t be silent. Speak up. AND, other parents should follow and put their kids in JEWISH schools!
Do not send your kids to Public school it’s a horrifying mistake
would you rather our son is happy in public school and comes home one day with his boyfriend?
Or as a female?