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This thread is meant to help put smile on another human’s face. If someone is having hard day, needs to lift his/hers/muzbands… spirits, hop on here. Read some things people write that will make u laugh. Read some things that people think are funny. Read some things that will help your day be a positive and productive one!
A patient complained to the doctor that his hair was coming out.
Won’t you give me something to keep it in? he begged
“Take this” the doctor said and handed the patient a pill box.who is your family doctor?
I can’t tell you
Why not? Don’t you know his name?Yes. Dr. Smith used to be our family doctor but nowadays mother goes to an eye specialist, father goes to a stomach specialist my sister goes to a throat specialist, my brother is in the care of a lung specialist and I’m taking treatments from an osteopath.
A Frenchman, a German & a Jew were lost in the desert.
The Frenchman said, “I’m so thirsty I must have a glass of wine.”
The German said, “I’m so thirsty I must have a beer.”
The Jews said, “I’m so thirsty I must have diabetes.”A Chosid, a Litvak & a Religious Zionist walked into a bar.
The bartender said, “The usual Rav Kook?”What kind of lights did Noach have in the teiva? Flood lights
What type of cake did he eat? Mahbul cake
A Modern Orthodox, Yeshivish & Big Rosh Yeshiva died & went to heaven. Hashem said to the Modern Orthodox, “You were a good Jew go to room 12 but be very quiet when you pass room 8.”
Hashem said to the Yeshivish Jew, “You learned a lot of Torah. Go to room 16 but be very quiet when you pass room 8.”
Hashem said to the Rosh Yeshiva, “You taught so much Torah. Go to room 11 but be very quiet when you pass room 8.”
The Rosh Yeshiva said, “I understand having different rooms but why do we need to be quiet when we pass room 8?”
Hashem answered, “Because the Chasidim are in room 8 & they think they are the only ones here.”a husband buys his wife a beatiful fur coat
she loves it and struts around in it
their daughter comes home from some ivy league university
and sees her mother in the fur coat
she starts screaming ‘don’t you know what diffuiculties this animal went thru just so you could strut around in your coat? – obviously animal rights stuff she learned in school
her mother slaps her across the face ‘don’t you EVER speak about your father this way!’did you hear the latest news?
fedex is joining up with upsand they’re calling themselves FEDUP.
Young doc.- Why do you always ask your patients what they have for dinner?
Old doc.- It’s a most important question for according to their menus I make out my bills.
Jewish Theory of Relativity:
If you have 2 hairs on your head, it’s very little,
if you have 2 hairs in your soup, it’s too much.Are humans like software?
Find out as follows:If I am ever on life support, unplug me and plug me back in and see if that works.
Two men of Chelm went out for a walk, when suddenly it began to rain.
“Quick,” said one. “Open your umbrella.”
“It won’t help,” said his friend. “My umbrella is full of holes.”
“Then why did you bring it?”
“I didn’t think it would rain!”did you go to the doctor the other day John?
Yes I did.
And did he find out what you had?
Very nearly.
What do you mean very nearly?
Well I had $3.40 and he charged me $3.00!balabusta-your fake accent and grammar isn’t working as it portrays you in a negative light (aka troll).
That was not a nice joke and I’m surprised that the mods let that thru.
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