“If only one becomes a baal teshuva, do they need to divorce?”
Dare to dream!
Sorry to put all of my troubles out here CR but this topic which may have been meant purely as a hypothetical fit too well with something I’ve been struggling with lately.
It is not an easy thing to end a marriage especially when children are involved, even if it is the right thing, even if there are religious grounds (verbal abuse seems to qualify so sadly I believe I would have grounds), even if he has always stifled my religious devotion. I am not blameless, I am not an easy person to be married to (as he often reminds me), but who does not have their flaws? All I can do is pray that hashem softens my husband’s heart, and gives me the strength to endure for the sake of the children. Even with couples counseling while the improvement has been noticeable, he still hurts me with his words every day. He says it is my fault that what he says hurts me, that I’m misinterpreting what he says, I am being too sensitive, or he is stressed at something else and to ignore the tone, profanity, and anger in what he says. But when someone says they hate you how else can you interpret it?
He was away for a week and came back today and berated me for coddling the toddler in his absence. 🥺 Is it a wonder I did not miss him while he was gone?
He originally blockaded my religious journey for example guess who pressured me to stop keeping kosher as I had for my entire life before we met, he did not want to celebrate shabbat with my friends but make plans for us to go out on friday nights with his, he will begrudgingly celebrate a few holidays a year or attend maybe one service if he has no conflicting plans. Once upon a time he treated me very well so I was willing to overlook his lack of religious devotion because he seemed devoted to me and I thought he would never hurt me. How wrong I was. I am not looking for anyone’s sympathy or even advice. I just really needed a space where I could share this safely and anonymously. Thanks for reading.