Commonsaychel – Lol, I’ve never been mistaken for frum before but I’ll take the compliment! I figured the minimum qualifications were keeping kosher and being shomer shabbos. While I have a strong aversion to chazer, I can’t say I meet those criteria. I was wondering where I picked up writing G-d which I’ve been doing as long as I can remember. It must have been from my mother who is kinda frum but placed her liberal and feminist values ahead of her Jewish ones. I don’t share her liberal values, so this is likely why I’m so mixed up as to where I fit in religiously. Anyone got a quiz I can take? Which Jewish denomination is right for you???
Alcoholism – what I think happened was my father likely saw some study like that which said Jews as a group have a lower (but not a zero) rate of alcoholism in their communities in comparison to other ethnic groups. He took it to mean there was some cultural reason we couldn’t become alcoholics which is nonsense. My parents would make comments about how our shul replaced the kiddish wine on the bima with grape juice because there were some alcoholics in the congregation, but they could only be non-Jewish spouses or converts because Jews don’t become alcoholics. It’s similar to saying this problem doesn’t exist in our community or hashem and Torah make us immune from the pitfalls of the secular world. You see what you want to see until you have a wake up call. Had my dad had a friend who secretly had a drinking problem or wanted to come to him for advice can you imagine the shame they would feel hearing comments like this? The stigma and getting help for these things are hard enough, there’s no need to make it more difficult by denying the existence of an issue.
Marijuana – I’m curious what’s the actual halacha here? It’s no longer illegal most places and while it’s had a conservative cultural stigma against it, is there any actual Jewish law against its use? I know my ggpa who was chassidic smoked cigarettes but that was before they knew they were so bad for your health. I can’t stand how universal marijuana use has become with legalization, but that doesn’t mean it’s actually prohibited.
AviraDeArah – You strike me as having the innocence and idealism of youth. Hashem gives us each our challenges Jew and non-Jew alike. We are human not superhuman. Also how do you see something so awful as what you did at the 7/11 and still think frum Jews don’t regularly fall victim? I think perhaps you view addiction as a moral failing which is why you are convinced that the Torah protects us by holding us to higher levels of morality than others? While casual drug use (like occasional marijuana use) which is in the morally questionable category is likely much less prevelent in the frum world, drug addiction is different. It can sometimes start that way, but it can also start with prescription pain pills from a doctor which has nothing to do with moral failings. It can start with untreated mental health issues and a lack of resouces. It can start with trauma and abuse that are kept secret. These things exist in the frum and secular worlds.
Every community has those with mental health needs that are not sufficiently addressed, people in need of support, and those who in the absence of healthy outlets (sports, art, friends, support groups) will turn to unhealthy outlets. This is universal.
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