Qwert, not only can a rov tell his congregation what to do, he has an obligation to do so. He is a mochiach, in a position to give tochacha, as every gadol has done throughout history. Look at the derashos of rishonim and achronim; they’re full of ethical and halachik exhortations…look at the seforim of the chofetz Chaim, including the sefer he’s named after and shmiras halashon.
Not wanting to be told what to do is a human feeling and a good sign of your yichus, because klal yisroel is an am keshei oref, a stubborn nation. Seforim say that when Hashem went to all the nations, he gave them a mitzvah that went against their nature, and they rejected the Torah; Yishmael with znus, eisav with murder…and yisroel was with anochi Hashem, that we need to listen to someone. So you’re in good company! But you need to fight that yatzer hora and humble yourself to an authority of your choosing.
Modern Orthodox rabbis teach that the rabbi’s authority ends in shulchan aruch and doesn’t extend to life decisions or politics, but you’ve done one better and believe that a rov has no authority at all! That’s quite a deviation from even the most liberal sects of observant jews, and it’s a shame that someone who has Orthodox smicha edited told you this idea that a rov is supposed to be a role model. Does he or you have a shred of a source for that statement? Rabbonim make takanos all of the time…in the communities of the chasam sofer, rav hirsch, and everyone else, there were rules, enacted by rabbonim.
The mesilas yeshorim talks about following a rov, comparing it to a a guide in a hedge maze. The mishnah in avos says to sit in the dust of the chachamim, understand that their words are fire, humble yourself to them, and drink in their words with thirst.
Out of town communities are better at this than elsewhere, because usually there’s one or two poskim who the whole community follows. Take a look at what they do in Baltimore, Cleveland, etc…the community follows the ordinances of its rov.
This has nothing to do with being “yeshivish.” When non yeshivish people were exercising in mixed gyms and even mixed swimming in Cleveland out of ignorance, rav hirschfeld, the posek there, along with all of the shul rabbonim, wrote a letter, and put a stop to it. Most of the resistance to listening to rabbis is in in-town places, because there are so many rabbonim and not a lot of central authority.
You’ve discussed your background in candid terms, and i applaud you for embracing observance and getting involved in learning, but to be fully observant means to follow the halachik and hashkafic decisions of rabbonim, who are authorities on yiddishkeit. It doesn’t matter to me if you decide to follow poskim like rabbi hershel Shechter, or others who i personally disagree with on many issues, since the majority of gedolim were against some of their views, but they are established authorities in their communities, even though they’re not “yeshivish.”
If you want sources regarding television, please let me know and I will provide them, but i won’t if you have no plans on accepting them.
Rav miller was no different than any rosh Yeshiva in how his talmidim follow him. In my yeshiva, rav belsky was the final word for most of us in halacha, in chaim berlin, it was rav aharon shechter and rav shraga feivel cohen, in mir the words of rav shmuel birnbaum were Torah misinai…rav miller did succeed in having a shul where he was in a position of Rosh yeshiva/manhig in a time when most people unfortunately went בשרירות לבם, doing what they decided on their own.