“Ujm, i think the two have been regarded differently historically. One aveirah doesn’t define a person, but living consistently with and committing to a life without Torah altogether, which is what intermarriage is, is seen as forsaking everything in yiddishkeit and klal yisroel”
I just dont agree with this. This is a very big misunderstanding of the mindsets of intermarriage for secular jews. Anyone familiar with it wouldnt be saying it. Many intermarriages taking place because the nonjewish spouse is fine supporting ones jewishness while not being jewish themselves and the other marrying for love while retaining their jewish identity. You here again are taking how intermarriage is seen in frum settings and applying it to nonfrum settings. An intermarried ex-frum girl doesnt show up to shul, an intermarried nonfrum girl comes every friday and gives her son a bar mitzvah. “committing to a life without Torah altogether, which is what intermarriage is” except its not. According to you there is no such thing as an intermarried couple who go to shul and want their kids to have a bar mitzvah or celebrate chanukah. Thats just a blatant falsehood. What ur telling me is if a guy grew up reform and never went to shul after his bar mitzvah he hasnt been living a life consistently and committed to a lack of judaism but if he marries a nonjewish girl he likes he has abandoned judaism altogether? That isnt what they are committing to together, they are just getting married. The marriage is a SIGN that mitzvos arent important to him, its not a commitment that they never will be. Idk how u think secular marriage works, they arent sanctifying that they want nothing to do with mitzvos. They just are too lazy or dont care that much or have weird pluralistic views of their jewishness.Tthe only thing u have to do is show them its worth caring for and teach them and they soak up plenty. “is seen as forsaking” by who? Not by them, which is the whole point, they arent done with judaism just because u decided its a sign they are.