Directed to the OP:
Don’t let the well-intentioned, but ill informed, bother you. “Hanging out” is normal for any teenager, and the fact that you asked specifically for a kosher way to fulfill your desire for camaraderie is laudable.
There are many places where girls can go and “chill” and it doesn’t need to be to another shiur or ”chessed project”. Go bowling or ice skating or sit on a porch with a slurpee. Find a good kosher coffee house or art gallery (that your parents approve of… art can be great when not inappropriate).
The unwillingness to accommodate isn’t from das Torah, it’s from people who are too afraid to ask an open shaila. I’ve spoken to many great gedolim including several just last week while in Eretz Yisroel; a big yetzer hora of this dor is to asur everything to the point of causing resentment and anxiety.
Go chill, hangout, relax… in a kosher, yosher way. Make sure you have solid Moros to guide you. Hatzlocho!