Avira: So all I have to do is threaten to kill myself and I can do whatever I want? Sweet! Can’t wait to try this out.
Shailah: I really don’t want to have to pay my taxes this year. If I can’t cheat on my taxes, I’m going to kill myself. What should I do?
Teshuvah: You still have to pay your taxes. Even the suicide-omni-heter cannot free one from the obligation of paying taxes. It only works on silly, outdated stuff from the Torah, not REAL issues like making non-Jews like you.
Dang. Better luck next time I guess.