The clearest example of how the “age gap” does matter is that in Eretz Yisrael, where boys generally begin shidduchim at 21 and girls at 20, there is no numbers crisis within the Litvish community.
Were it true that chassidim have that many more potential “extra” chossonim to account for the 15% extra kallahs in Litvish circles, you would have a point. But since most people would not consider such a shidduch for their childbecause of the dangers of such a cultural chasm between the potential spouses, one can assume that people would make it an option of last resort.
So what age would the girls be? 28? And if by chassidish boys the age was 23 or 24, how would this solve anything?
Better solution – everyone becomes “heimishe” and then intermarries! 🤣
Seriously, since social engineering usually generates a bad outcome, maybe we should all dial back our preconceived notions and hakpados and open ourselves to bracha from Above. How? By being more focused on the personality of the potential shidduch, rather than leaving it as a last piece, after all the boxes are checked.
As a group, we have lost our a way a bit – and all of the obstacles we justify are self-inflicted.