Reb Shlomo, when do you think hishtadlus ends? Should a boy have to speak romantically? Should he have to compliment the girl on her appearance? Should he have to go to movies, if the woman he thinks is his bashert insists on going to one for a date?
Hishtadlus cannot infringe on any other Jewish values, tznius being the obvious one. If something is a breach of tznius then it leaves the category of histadlus, and enters kochi ve’otzem yadi.