Always_Ask_Questions,
“At this point, he wonders – based on reading YWN – whether he is “frum” enough and wonders whether he needs to spend an extra 30 minutes of drive to pick up chalav isroel yogurt and milk, so that he will either learn less, has one less surgery, or disregard either the wife or one of the kids. What would be your advice?”
My advice would be, if a person truly believes that his derech is correct and he is following it to the best of his ability, then why wouldn’t he have enough confidence in his derech that a CR thread would rattle him so much? I seriously doubt your hypothetical accomplished and busy man would actually be rattled by anything on the CR. But if he is, he should assess why. Did he read something he never heard or considered before, and is concerned he’s missing something halachically? He should look into it and perhaps ask a shaila of a rav who knows him well. Is he really so sure that his chosen derech is correct? That’s the most likely reason he’d get rattled and think about making irrational changes to his life (the yetzer hara works on everything). But if he is indeed sure and still gets rattled, maybe he lacks the confidence or assertiveness to be able to deal with others who have different ideas in a healthy way?