@Avram in MD
Don’t throw at me the lifetime of a typical mortgage loan nonsense. I was clear the homes were paid off in 5-7 years.
What is typical? When I bought my first house 50 years ago, conventional mortgages were 20 years. Car loans were 3 years. Today I see mortgages at 15, 30 and 40 years, car loans offered at 6 and 7 years.
I financed the house purchases for my children, that was not with loans with interest loaded up front like a bank mortgage. I simply paid for the houses from available funds and the children made payments to reimburse me. I forego the interest I might have made on the money. The money was loaned by Mrs. CTL and myself to each couple. That kept the implied interest from falling under the gift tax limits.
Does the CTL Law firm pay well? We have pay packages in line with mid sized firms in the metro NYC area. Our children and in-laws are employees, not partners. They will not become partners in the firm until my official retirement and becoming ‘of counsel’
As to why I just don’t say no: I find all interruptions of minyan by those seeking money abhorrent. I am there to daven. Ask me in the hallway before minyan starts or in the coffee room after minyan ends, BUT never approach me while I daven. B”H I can afford to give Tzedaka if asked. I never go to a weekday minyan without cash in my pocket to dispense as needed/requested. During Covid, when there were limits on inside gatherings we did not have these interruptions.
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“I think what you are doing is absolutely wonderful. I just don’t understand why you’re looking down at other families who are also helping support their children.”
I don’t look down at other families who are also helping to support their children. They are not supporting their children when they have their hands out asking OTHERS to support their children.
Instead of spending hours and gasoline traveling to ask strangers for money to marry off your child, work another job. You may live in an area where a man could hit 4-5 shuls in an hour, but if he shows up in my small town shul and has a 30 minute drive to the next minyan, he isn’t using his time wisely and the cost with $4.50 gallon gas is prohibitive.
BTW>>>>in addition to my Justice of the Peace offer which includes the bottle and kichel, now that Covid is in abeyance, Mrs. CTL and I are again making our gardens and outsize Chupah (a 12’x20’wisteria covered Pergola) available for weddings for those who need a suitable venue at no charge. It is one one Mrs. CTL’s greatest joys to host a wedding, BTW>> we have an extensive collection of family wedding gowns, mother and mother in law of the Kallah gowns and family formal wear that is available to borrow as well. Mrs. CTL’s private gemach.
Our home was used for a filming a movie back in 2010 and we have appropriate dressing rooms with hair/makeup station for the kallah as well.
If we can help bring joy to the Chason/Kallah by providing these things, it also brings us joy. It is not just about handing over cash.
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