I think both sides have a point – yes, we can be more machmir in some cases where we were not earlier, and, still, there a lot of chumros accepted by some of the community with the end result being visible separation between that part of the community and other observant Jews. And, while some learned people here and elsewhere understand what drives the change, the vast majority of neo-O simply draw a line and see those that are not with them as beyond the pale.
In many cases, Sephardim are more sensitive to the ideal of having one community: whether they are trying to blend into neo-O by wearing black hats or into general O- by using eruv that does not correspond to Sephardi halakha (and chasidim will not use it). disclaimer: I heard a Sephardi Rav explaining this to his congregation, but I did not see him himself carrying 😉