Reply To: Cherem Rabbeinu Gershom

Dr. Pepper, thank you for sharing your thoughts on the issue.

To take your example, suppose the husband summons his wife to Beis Din for the purpose of initiating Gett proceedings against her. But, unlike what you suggested, she accepts the subpoena and appears in Beis Din. Her husband begins proceedings by stating he came to give his wife a divorce. He lists a litany of complaints ranging from the she doesn’t prepare meals in a timely manner, doesn’t take care of the children well, is often unfriendly to him, doesn’t keep up the household properly, etc. She responds that she disagrees with his assessment, and believes the marriage is viable and whatever imperfections correctable. He says he tried working with her for years on all these issues but not much changed.

They are at a standstill. He demands to divorce. She responds in Beis Din that she wishes the marriage to continue and as per Cherem Rabbeinu Gershom she hereby invokes her right to decline to accept the Gett her husband wishes to present to her.

My contention in the above scenario is that, given the circumstances as presented, she prevails. It is her right to to remain married to his despite his wish otherwise. And he remains obligated to continue supporting her, living with her and providing her with onah and all her conjugal rights. I maintain that this is the clear and unambiguous Halachic result and that he is not able to receive a Heter Meah Rabbonim in this case. If anyone would like to contend otherwise let them present clear Halachic arguments against this obvious Halachic conclusion.

As an endnote, the same result would be true in reverse, and Halachicly even more powerfully (since in that situation it is a pure Torah Law rather than a post-Chazal rabbinic decree), with the spouses roles in the above scenario reversed, with the wife seeking a divorce but the husband seeking to continue the marriage.