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So, what things did you think/believe, as a young child, that you later found out were clearly false.
I’ll start us off with two of my own.
As a young child, while first becoming frum (about the age of 8 or 9), I had difficulty with the concept that Shabbos was holier than Yom Tov. After all, Shabbos came every week and (each individual) Yom Tov only once a year. Clearly Yom Tov was more special and, hence holier.
As a child, for a while, I thought the parshiyos of tefillin were sewn into the retuzous.
What silly things did you believe as a child? Or am I the only one who was stupid enough to have misconceptions?
The Wolf
1. That I’ll grow up and become a fireman.
2. That my Totty was bigger and could beat up your Totty.
As a child, I thought all the adults knew what they were doing in shul. I didn’t have the confidence to ask whenever I wasn’t sure what was the proper procedure.
Then I grew up, and realized that many adults around me lack confidence, and act exactly like my younger self.That many Jews changed their last names at Ellis Island. This was a universal Jewish myth believed by almost all. But after a thorough investigation it turns out it was extremely rare for it to happen. Jews leaving Europe had to show proper paperwork before boarding the ship. These records were used by the Customs officials to record entry to the US. So whatever name was on your paperwork in Europe is what your name was entering America. (Some people changed their name after arriving here but it didnt happen at Ellis Island)
I thought on Tisha B’av you had to wear “slippers”, not “shoes.” And that you had to sit “lower,” no particular height.
The baby is brought by stork.
Wolf, i think your question about shabbos/yom tov is very valid; it’s a logical assumption that yom tov should be “bigger”.
Happens to be the kovod yom tov is more important than kovod shabbos; the clothes one wears, food one eats, are more choshuv than shabbos, but the kedushah, defined by issur melacha, is greater on shabbos
As for my own, i used to think only European people made chicken soup from bones… because my european grandparents did so, and my parents never went to the trouble.
I thought all Zaidys were hip, cool, not Frum and didn’t talk to you about Yiddishkeit. Father’s were for following Halacha, Zaidys were for having fun. I couldn’t have been that old but remember being surprised kids had a Frum Zaidy with a beard and hat who were also talked to their grandkids about living a Frum life.
When i was a kid in elementary school i remember all the tragedies that R”L hit klal yisroel and shook the world up and i thought that by the time i would become Bar Mitzvah klal yisroel would have already woken up from living in denial and started facing life and reality with openly seeing Hashems non stop wake up horrific tragedies striking klal yisroel-without mentioning so many of them-and started to immediately do serious teshuva as a loving nation together so Hashem could send Mashiach and the Geula already with a complete stop to all tzaros in klal yisroel.
HOW WRONG I WAS and how sad it is that we could still today DECADES later since i was a child still be living in denial and think we can fool Hashem that we don’t get his tragic wake up calls for serious teshuva.
Hope we finally wake up now myself included together as one loving nation and do serious teshuva so Mashiach can come very soon
YungermanS: Why do you accuse Klal Yisroel of not having done Teshuva?
I used to think it’s okay to judge people from the way they look, he dresses that way so he must be bad! And anyway who said we should judge in the first place?? I also didn’t ‘know’ that you are meant to give people benefit of doubt, I knew the concept, but never in reality. I still stumble and struggle in these areas, but we’re getting there! I just heard from Rabbi Weinberger yesterday a cute saying that was so relevant to exactly this point, ‘people who judge don’t understand, and people who understand don’t judge’. Shame I didn’t learn this as a child but that’s the journey
I grew up believing my rebbes that tte alte heim was frum and people became not frum in the treife medina. I now know that staying in Eastern Eurooe was no protection as assimilation was making deep inroads in pre war Europe
The former head of the NRA was Moshe Rabenu
“And anyway who said we should judge in the first place??”
Hashem commanded us to judge others.
Anon, rav avigdor miller used to say that that misconception lex people to be very confused about the Holocaust, because why would it happen if everyone was so frum?
Sadly the majority of klal yisroel were assimilated, and even in the yeshivos haskalah was wreaking havoc.. There were, of course, outstanding talmidei chachamim, and the level of learning was way beyond our grasp, but that was not representative of the klal
Joseph,
“Hashem commanded us to judge others.”
So you have no problem if others judge you as a closed-minded. misogynistic dinosaur with delusions of grandeur?
Wolf – I thought this was such a great topic and I am so glad you brought it up.
I have a few responses but my first is that I always thought that if someone knew the truth, they would follow it. That if someone knew they were doing something wrong and you told them how it was wrong, they would run to fix it. That people who did hurtful or mean things just didn’t know how they came across but if they knew the truth – bam – they would reform instantly because why wouldn’t everyone want to do what is right?Boy was I wrong. Tough lesson learned the hard way.
Hashem commanded us to judge others lkaf zchus. (conveniently omitted to elicit angry responses as is the way of trolls everywhere)
Judge behavior, some think you shouldn’t but they are incorrect. Judge behavior, not people.
It depends who you’re judging. You’re not supposed to be dan lkaf zchus everyone. For example, someone like David Ben Gurion or Ehud Barak, you must be dan lkaf chov.
based on the behaviors.
When I was 8 or 9, I came across my preschool “yearbook”, which had a section where they wrote down something each kid had said about their parents. One kid had said “my father is 10, and my mother is 5.” That boggled my mind, and the only conclusion I could come up with is that both parents had been born in leap years on Feb 29th and only counted their birthdays every 4 years, making the father actually 40, and the mother actually 20. I never stopped to consider that preschoolers don’t understand long time periods, and that the preschool teacher may have put that in the yearbook because it was cute, not because it was true.
“Hashem commanded us to judge others lkaf zchus.”
1) And that is predicated on the assumption that you’re judging. When you do that, do it favorably.
2) And judging one’s behaviors will then have implications for that person’s Halachic status, and thus you’re judging the person.
3) And the Halachic status of a person – Tzadik, Rosho, or Beinoni – determines your halachic obligation to judge them favorably or not. Thus assuming a previous judgment on person.How did a fun and cute thread morph into a musser forum?
Based on where I grew up I assumed Chasidim, Yeshivish, and Modern Orthodox can get along, Daven at the same Shuls and their kids can go to the same schools and play at each other’s houses. When I got older and was exposed to other communities I learned the correct Derech is to create divisions based on Hats, Yarmulke type, shirt color, and Sheitel length.
Kuvult, you got it right as a child and wrong as an adult. I dunno where you daven, but I daven in many places where Yeshivish, Chasidish and MO Yidden all daven together in the same minyanim, in great harmony. I think you’ve read to many blogs and websites and therefore ended up too cynical.
I think we are misjudging what it means to judge.
UJM,
What about schools and friends? Growing up it was perfectly normal for a Chasidish kid with very long Peyos, a kid from the very Yeshivish world and a kid with a tiny knit Kippah from a very Zionist YU type family to be riding around the neighborhood and alternating whose house they went to. Classmates would walk together on Shabbos with some headed to Pirchei and some headed to B’nai Akiva. I don’t think that happens much these days.That is drivel, I have friends from vaseah zukin to kippah srugah and everything in between.
Common,
YOU have friends. Do your kids go to the same school? Do kids of the father with veisa zaken go to play (without a parent) at the house of the kids with a knit Yarmulke because their friends like any other kids?Maybe i should give a bit more clarification on what I meant to judge. I used to think it’s accepted and normal to look around you and analyse other people. more than just dress, and not people I know well. That guy looks sad, bet you he had a fight with his spouse. That guy looks like a shlump, he doesn’t know how to look after himself. That child is always running around on the streets, where are his parents, his home must be dysfunctional. So yes of course when we do judge it should be favorably. but who said we should be looking around and analysing other people and their personal lives? The ideal would be to look at the person and say he has a neshoma, we don’t understand, we don’t have a clue what’s going on in his life, how can we even judge… Maybe judging and favorably is more for people we know in a personal way, doing/saying something we don’t expect of them.
Just another note for clarification, I didn’t know you are meant to judge a person favorably as a child. So it’s two different points here. Not judging in first place. And if you are judging to do it favorably. So yes I have a lot to work on, it’s good, because we are all in this world to grow on different things.
Based on where I grew up, I used to think that if you were REALLY Frum, you Davened Nusach Ashkenaz.
Kuvult, the father with vaisa zuken who sends his kids to Satmar lives in Williamsburg whereas the father with the kipa sruga who sends his kids to YU High School lives in Teaneck. Which family would be forced to move and change their kids to the other school to achieve your goal?
In the interest of achdus, would you want your kids exposed to internet, television and dubious standards of kashrus?.
That’s why adults can(and should) be friendly, but association with children is a boundary
When I was younger, I thought adults used their time productively, and all the time they spend on their computer interacting with others was important
Logician, how young are you that when you are younger adults were already spending a considerable amount of time communicating on computers?
AviraDe,
Thank you for proving what I said.Kuvult, no, Avira proved you wrong. You wrote about “to create divisions based on Hats, Yarmulke type, shirt color, and Sheitel length.” Avira pointed out that any segregation of children is correctly designed to keep them away from being influenced by impressionable youngsters with improper and halachicly non permitted activities such as television (pritzus), Internet, pop culture, poor Kashrus, etc. Noting to do with shirt colors, Yarmulka types or hats.
So why when I was a kid was tv, (no internet back then), pop culture, and Kashrus non issues? How did the very Yeshivish kid sit next to the kid with a knit Yarmulke and lunch box with the latest tv character on it? How did he end up Yeshivish hearing his classmates discussing the latest mega movie that they saw? How did the Chasidish kid end up Chasidish when the kid next to him from a not very Frum family brought in triangle-K snacks? I’ll tell you how. Because Hashkafa is taught at home. When you bring you children up correctly, exposure to other types of Jews only enhances their Yiddishkeit. But more importantly it creates an Achdus that bears fruit in the future. So many here are judging and often it’s based on exterior factors. The kids from different types when they get older know each from childhood and trust each other. This makes community Shalom and Achdus much easier
Did anyone else grow up hearing that if you look at the kohanim in shul during birchas kohanim, you’ll become blind in one eye?
Or that the reason no one eats giraffe is because no one knows where to shecht it?Kuvult, when we were kids television was prohibited. Don’t know what you’re talking about. Kashrus standards were pretty strict. 40+ years ago Yeshivos enforced Kashrus standards and asked everyone every year whether anyone had a TV. Triangle-K was a big no-no since Rav Moshe Feinstein’s time, and famously so.
Chasidish and Yeshivish kids mixed because both more or less shared strict Kashrus and no TV. MO even back then was a different world.
Hashkafa must be in harmony both at home and in Yeshiva.
The Giraffe is a childhood myth. It is shechted where every other animal is shechted. The issues are they are incredibly expensive, thand the meat doesn’t taste very good. I heard Kosher giraffe meat would cost $10,000 per pound.
Goldilocks, I don’t remember about one eye, but I certainly learnt looking at the Kohanim during duchanan might cause blindness (not immediately). And, yes, heard that about giraffes.
Goldilocks – yes that’s what we were told about giraffes LOL! Kuvult – you are touching a very controversial sensitive topic. Probably no one has the right answer – however we can try. They say that nowadays the generation is much weaker and therefore they can’t stay strong being exposed to more open backgrounds. And more so – because immorality is so open and accessible to the public because of internet, it can effect a person’s mind forever. So yes, I prefer to keep my children super protected.
Ujm, while there were some yeshivishe families who separated their kids in the previous generation….i have to admit that after talking to a lot of people and even rabbonim from that time, the truth is that the majority of frum families did not have the standards that we have today. That doesn’t mean we’re wrong; quite the opposite – so when old timers talk about their parents not telling them not to go to young Israel houses, it’s because TV was almost as common by us as it was by them. Mixing genders is where things were very different; MO did, and the rest didn’t. Lashrus was also something that we are able to do better today – most yidden used to eat cholov stam and not be concerned with pas yisroel, for instance.
The period when we started growing apart I’d say was in the late 80s and early 90s. Kolel was a strong force on the klal, bochurim brought back toras eretz yisroel with them. Yeshivos such as my own switched to white shirts…that was incremental. The divide between non MO and MO grew vastly during this time. I’m in my early 30s; i grew up in the 90s. Kids my age were being told not to go to little Harry’s house, because we(myself included) were not a good influence on yeshivishe children.
UJM,
I don’t know what your talking about. The school never asked if you had a TV. Half the kids did, half the kids didn’t. Half went to movies half didnt. Half wore velvet yarmulkes, half wore Knit. Some went to Pirchei, some went to Bnei Akiva. Some went to Frum camps in the mountains, some went to coed Zionist camps. Some vacationed where there were Frum Yidden and Minyanim, some went to the beach . Some mothers came dressed like Boro Park, some mothers wore pants and no hair covering. We had kids whose father’s were Rebbeim in Yeshivas, we had fathers who were YU anti-Yeshiva types. We all got along and as a general rule the kids came out how they went in. Because Hashkafa comes from the home not the school. The school taught Torah, not Hashkafa. Today, the Chasidish wears a Streimel, the very Yeshivish are Rebbeim, and the Modern Orthodox are…you guessed it, Modern Orthodox. That kids can’t be exposed to kids from different backgrounds is a myth.Myth 1: I thought that Hashem loved everyone, including reshaim.
Fact: He doesn’t. [There are several sources for this, the pasuk “Hashem oheiv tzadikim” being a good start.]Myth 2: Judaism is male chauvinistic.
Fact: Judaism is female chauvinistic.Myth 3: You can’t play Monopoly on Shabbos.
Fact: If you may play Monopoly ever, then Shabbos is no different.Myth 4: Earth revolves around the sun.
Fact: There is insufficient evidence whether Earth is geocentric or heliocentric.Kuvult, nost MO graduates are far worse than their upbringing, or far better. Of my graduating class of around 20, 5 became yeshivishe, another 5 became frummer, 10 or so went off or practically off.
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