@ AriHaleviRosman
I don’t understand why you’re only bothered where it was the mother of the single who nixed the idea for their kids because the references didn’t return the call fast enough. Would you have been just as bothered if it was the single himself / herself who nixed the idea for the same reason?
Would you be bothered if the mother of a single called references and asked questions that you agreed were relevant?
A few years after I graduated high school there was an unfortunate incident there and the place ended up closing down. Someone refused to go out with me, five years after I left, because I went to high school there. I told the shadchan that not only wasn’t I there when it happened but anyone is welcome to check my medical history to see that there was never any sign of me being involved in drugs. I was also in respected Yeshivos since then and had many Rabbeim who could vouch for me.
The girl responded that if she could just get someone from Chaim Berlin or Torah Vodaas why should she date me and then have to explain to her friends that I was in high school there although I wasn’t there during the bust?
At the end I was relieved that she filtered her name out for me as I wouldn’t want someone like that anyway.
Please answer this though- do you feel differently about the situation because she said that as opposed to her mother?