The tznius issue (to me) seems to be the two (or more) extended families sitting in close proximity for long hours without any mechitza. I don’t know why this is necessary; can’t it be done with men on one side of the mechitza, women on the other side, and the kallah coming up close to the mechitza when people are called up to dance before her? Re not having the minhag, why is that something that needs a reason? If I don’t have the minhag, then it’s not my minhag, I don’t have to farenfer why I don’t do it!
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