“If you cannot differentiate between ideals that we clearly do not hold by and sensitivities that formed over time”
It is just as clear that we (i.e. Yidden) do not hold by that a man should hold a door open for a woman moreso than a woman should hold open a door for a man, as it is clear that we do not hold by vegetarianism.
You cannot makeup for yourself what “ideals that we clearly do not hold” and what “we” do. There’s nothing to differentiate vegetarianism from the other so-called “ideal” that you imagine.