notes from a talk by R Moshe Kurtz, a recent talmid:
He asked R Tendler ZT’L how he met his future wife, Shifra. They met at a public library, where he was studying biology, and she asked him a biology question .. Later on, R Feinstein approached R Tendler Senior (they were on the same Beis din), and when father asked the son, he replied that he is already pursuing it .. AAQ: would this be Ms Feinstein approaching R Tendler first and then her Father? Anyone knows more on this?
R Tendler was niftar on Shmini Atzert – not on his birthday, like Moshe, but on his wife’s birthday …
Also asked R Tendler re:R Feinstein allowing halav stam but keeping halav Isroel himself. Was he not sure of his own psak? Stricter with himself? R Tendler said people misunderstood. R Feinstein was concerned that he was holding by halav Isroel before, equivalent to a neder, and quoted a Gemora about someone entering Gan Eden alive due to never needing to annul a neder …
R Tendler’s approach: learn the facts, data before going to halakha. At a Niddah class, he would pass specimen around, asking students to categorize.
When they learned on Zoom, R Kurtz turned to the side to greet his wife entering the house. R Tendler told him that this was not proper – he needs to get up and greet his wife with full attention.
They once had a Gemora shiur together – R Tendler, R Kurtz and his wife. They were making a picture after that. R Tendler instructed the wife to open Gemora back so that people would have no doubt that she was learning.
He asked R Tendler what he thinks of R Feinstein disapproving of women learning Gemorah. He answered that if R Feinstein would have seen how they approach it now, he would be happy that his great-granddaughter is learning. Meaning that at some point this was an issue of feminism, external influence, among other controversial issues. R Tendler is simply seeing women sufficiently educated, committed, and capable of learning and does not think they should miss out on this.
When Covid started, R Tendler was waiting for some time for someone to help him install Zoom. YU, respectably, sent a senior 60-yo Rabbi to help. This did not work until they sent a younger person …Lately, R Tendler was giving his Zoom shiurim from the hospital bed to the point where he was getting tired and could not continue.