Also, the rambam deals with your question about how beis din used to (and still could) use force to make a man divorce when he is obligated to (emphasis on when he is obligated to….a woman saying she’s not happy is not an obligation) he says that since a jew wants to do the ratzon Hashem deep down, you’re really doing what he wants! This rambam is often called “the chasidishe rambam”, but it’s the way this halacha works.
