No time to look up details now, but the Rambam Paskens that it is a Chiyuv. And the Gemara at the beginning of the second Perek of Kidushin applies the aforementioned Pasuk of ve’Ahavta l’Re’acha Kamocha to one’s wife, and there is an argument to be made that it is the Ikar Kiyum of the Pasuk.
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